When do you know to stop looking.......

The search continues as always....

Its tough out there I tell you....real tough.....a whole sea full of single male and females mingling, interacting and de-interacting......and then moving on to the next.

When you think you have met someone who you think you have got some sort of common ground and understanding, at what point do things progress.

For some reason I will have banter with someone, then conversation and then meet up and then the banter can continue....and then fizzles.....I give myself a few days to re-adjust and then end up going back on the sites.....only to see them active already!!

A prime example of this......a fire man....who ended up getting burned himself!....So after my last episode of the 35 year old throwing a strop and leaving me there and then meet up, a few days after I put myself back online....This good looking 5''11 built 34 year old fire man messaged me and was quite charming, informing me that he had only joined the site 3 days ago and that he saw my profile and had to message me....we got bantering on there and eventually he asked if I used whats app and we then exchanged numbers.

I had another busy weekend and had been catching up with friends and family and then as the usual banter between close friends go ''how's the search going etc''....and then I mentioned ''Ohh well this guy has been messaging, 34, a fire man and tall....and before I could finish my dear friend jumped! And told me his name.....and I though....oh sh.....She then pulled her phone out and showed me his photo!!! And explained that her other friend had been chatting to him.....and was due to meet him in two days time.....I thought ooh....I shall back off....and left it at that......then I asked how long had they been chatting, she then said over a week....and off the same site....to which I just stared and looked at her and said...Oh?....As he had mentioned that he had just joined three days ago....*we both look at each other big eyed with a confused 'Oh' face.....*

I left it at as I knew the mutual friend was to be meeting this guy which was a Monday......come Sunday morning I receive a message with a smiley face 'Morning how are you? How has your weekend been? I have been busy'' (Clearly you have been Mr).....I chose to ignore his message either way.....another close friend of mine had been informed of all of the on goings on and found it amusing....

Come Tuesday morning, my friend said she met Mr Fireman and they got on like a house on fire (literally)....even before they had met he had called her and was showing all the signs of being committed and interested .....and her friend seemed happy and I was glad as I had not heard anything from the guy.....come lunch time the latter close friend (we are a group of three close friends...yes all single) messaged in our whats app group message a screen shot of a message she had received on the same dating site saying ''Is THIS HIM??'' To which me and my other friend said YES!!! And low and be hold he had messaged her and my friend being articulate and cunning as she is, wrote something along the lines 'how are you finding this site, some guys tend to treat it as a sweetie shop with all the girls on here''.....to which he asked her if she had any bad experiences, in which she said no and asked him on purpose if he had met anyone from this site...his reply was this....''yes I met someone at the weekend but she was not my cup of tea''...He even messaged me that evening also......we where all fuming.....there was THREE of us and this guy was giving it the large one.......

Yes there was no commitment and everything, but it does make me think when you meet someone and you think you are special....with one eye on you.....how far is the other eye wondering?

I have to say all of my single friends are amazing catches and any guy to have them would be lucky....heck if I where a rich Arab I would marry all three of them!!!

We did actually think of arrange him to meet the first friend of ours and just have all of us turn up and say hi and see his face.....but it all came to an end before that as he was sent all of our messages from our friend who he had met....he had the cheek to DENY it all and said all this happened BEFORE he spoke and met her!!?!

I think that is the risk of online dating.....maybe it is like being in a sweet shop / Mathai shop where I think guys have their pick of anything!!

I would not write it off...as its good to experience however I just hope my hear will recognise who he is, and he recognises mine too......I might just go check out the cash and curry...I mean Carry.....see what I can pick up there!

MY BLOODY VALENTINE

Well....that escalated quickly......

Got messages on dating side from a guy on Sunday,

Got texting on Monday

Got chatting on the phone on Tuesday

Met on Wednesday and well was full on and when I said that to him he got in a huff and a puff and walked away very moody.

The End.

Still dint beat the 31 minute coffee date I had thought

NEXT.....!!

"Cinder-Fella....the boy who cried Wolf three times.....???

Well....''Cinderfella'' is the guy from Richmond from my last main entry on my blog.....So let's pick up from Sunday....I had a hectic week at work and Friday ended up going out with my dear best mate, and the Saturday was a busy one too (the Aqiqa and seeing a past failed hook up also!).

So naturally Sundays where days to be lazy and I so badly needed a lie in.....I had not heard from Cinderfella since ''its not my fault'' text was sent...so being a Sunday....I woke up way past Noon-Thirty that afternoon....As everyone has that natural instinct not to get up, but lie there in bed and check their phone....I did.....and there on my phone was a message sent at 10:20am from Cinderfella. ''Morning sweetie, shall we say 2pm Lunch?'' And that was it!! No missed calls or anything....and I looked at the time and I knew there was no way I would be showered, hair done, make up did and ready to go by 2pm!!? I texted ''I just woke up!!?!''

So I thought I'm not going to beat around the bush and I called the fella......He dint pick up but said ''I'm just hoovering and cleaning...will call you later''.......Later turned out to be never!! I got a late, late night text ''Hey did you have a nice lazy day?'' I thought to myself....what is up with this guy?? I said I did, and mentioned to him I ended up going out on that rainy Friday and that I had a busy Saturday.....to which he replied along the lines of ''Oh that's nice....I never heard back from you on Sunday so I just did a few things at home....''.heard back from ME??....,  I pretty much dint hold back.....I said how I need at  least 24 hours to know if I was going to meet him, just so I would know where to go at what time...I said to him scroll up along the messages and see what YOU said!!?!.....He then apologised and said he would make it up to me, said he would come to me, went from calling me to hun, gorgeous to Princess!!?!  I feel a bit funny about people I don't know or have never met calling me such things...I dunno.....I feel like I do not know how to respond to it, take it or act...lol....As he was making an effort and going out of his way...we arranged to meet on Wednesday(Yesterday for those reading this in real time - for those not please note the date this post had been written for freshness of this latest encounter of mine) after work......on the day he text how he was looking for ward to meeting up later and all day I did not hear back......so the early evening came and with an hour to go, I had just done my make up......I see a message from him about 6:30pm (we where meant to meet 7-7:30pm)....He started off ''This is just not meant to be...'' To cut a text short his mum was ill and did not want to leave her...my heart sank.....for his mum being ill and well......Strike #3.

He apologised profusely and went on to say ''The guy who will end up with you will be so lucky'' it was like he started the message with a negative and it felt like a dumping text without it being a dumping text?! He also stressed how his family are important, mentioning his sister in law.... mum, aunties and grand ma..how they are all important to him.....which hand on heart I totally understand....but at the same time if you are seeking to find someone to start your own family with....you have make allowances and give yourself a chance......(but when he said all that this came to my mind....(please see below image...)

Three times I got blown out.....then I thought things happen for a reason.....say things developed....would I or any other girl need to seek and have approval from 5 other women??  Mashallah I have been blessed with many mother figures and also extended sisters for whom I am truly blessed to have in my life.....But I have always come across this stigma of guys and their mums....its like ....yes it is about finding the right person, but also thinking that you will be joining his family also....which inshallah I hope no one will have a problem with.....

Either way.....it has left me a bit deflated and very baffled....however I am blessed to have the friends and family that I have around me, and they all keep me going, laughing and smiling....I love you all! ;)Cinder-Fella....the boy who cried Wolf......

WOW TODAY I REACHED 2000 HITS!!!

Just want to say a BIG thank you to everyone who follows and reads my blog and always give their words of support and encouragement....without it I would not be able to have written all that I have! You guys have been an amazing support!! I cant thank you enough as I write this all for you guys....big hugs all around!!! - The Halaal Chick ♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

The Year of the guys Horsing around???....(horse around (with someone or something) 1. Fig. to play around roughly with someone or something, possibly abusing someone or something.)

I swear Big Ben only rang in 2014 yesterday?? How is it already February already??

I know the Chinese new year only started yesterday which happens to be the year of the Hoarse, but jeez talk about the days galloping away or what? 

So the long month of January has been and gone and well its been a drag indeed!  I had been also chatting to a guy through the month, 33 from Richmond and seemed pretty normal over the phone..(the only one conversation I ever had)....the youngest not married with elder siblings married with kids etc.....however he lives near his dear Nani which is sweet and has am army of aunties nearby too.  He texts me every morning ''morning beautiful'....'morning gorgeous'...and to be honest as sweet as it is, I am not used to it or sure of it.....for someone I have not met yet or been able to delve more into their personality....its a bit too soon.  I just reply with the bog standard whats app yellow face. So a few days after speaking he decided and arranged that we meet up which I thought was sensible to do....(and F.Y.I yes I HAD seen his photo and he's a good looking guy).  So comes the day to meet up and about two hours beforehand I get a message...''Sorry something has cropped up and I have to run some errands for my nani''......I was like...'Oh...ok?'...So I replied, cool no worries let me know when you are free etc....so a few more days go by and the usual 'hey how are you' texts are sent and as always.. a few times he said he was chilling with his nani and aunties....the third time he told me that I did raise one....(only one) eyebrow.. I then texted hime ''you certainly have a lot of ladies in your life already'' I was joking and I don't think he got it as he said 'Yeah I am blessed as they are all like mums'...Deep down I thought is this why hes single? he has an army of aunties, his mum and nani around him..also how would a girl get all of their seal of approvals??!?...after that there was about 6 days of nothingness.  To which I then think ok.....let me text him to see how he is and to also see if I can get to meet him and see if its a 'yay or 'nay' (haha another horse pun!). I texted him to see if he was free at the weekend and he then replied ''sorry I am busy with family stuff''.....at that point I raised both eye brows. I then left him to it and this week he messaged me, apologised for the delay in not getting back to me and then asked me if I was free to meet up.....'Any day of this week' as he put it.  So I Said cool, how about this Friday? To which he replied 'Friday I am all yours then'.  So  I thought cool.
Two hours again before meeting up I get a text saying...'You know there is a lot of traffic and its raining'...I was like  waaaaaaaaaa?? Is this guy seeeerious??? At that point I just texted back Strike #2.  He then said 'come on you know its not like that! And asked if I was free on Sunday for lunch'  I replied quite dryly I suppose so..(however sundays where made for pjs!)....he then said 'its not my fault'.  And that was it, I could not even bring myself to text back to that. Well that Sunday is tomorrow and I am not sure what will happen...(not heard from him since his last text also!)....And oh I DID venture out into the evening rain and had a wonderful dinner with my best friend in my fav restaurant.

Also I have to update you, I heard from Mr East End, he texted 'hello how are you, you married yet?'  Its been TWO weeks since I heard from him and he goes and says that. In fact my failed quests do like to message me when they crawl out of their dark holes and say that...'married yet?' Makes my blood boil I tell you.....I can have no idea what's going on with that one anyway....I have left him to it!

Speaking of married...I attended one of my close friends sons Aqiqah, basicly a dinner/get together when someone has a new born child....So I attend and see my friends sister in law and as always having a chat and she is holding an adorable litlle 3 year old girl....and she clinches her teeth trying not to make it obvious and says its "H" child' and I was like hain? Who the fridge is "H"???' (see I have lost track of who I have met and now they are coming back to haunt me out of nowhere!). And then she looks over her shoulder and there he is, as good looking as always...except with three baby girls and his beautiful wife...(mashallah)..Many moons ago my friend tried to set me up with him and we met a few times and then he kinda said no to me.....(awkward) but hey ho....just happens like that....it seems the guys call the shots most of the time....(''You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink'' - good horse quote that innit? I'm getting into the horsey spirit here!! lol)...But yes in life you will come across guys who you are genuinly are interested in..but for some reason or another they are just not interested......just how life is....'Natural selection' and all that malarky I guess?.....It was in a very small hall, and as I mingled he came to me and was ever so polite as always and asked how I was, while he held his beautiful 5 month old daughter. His wife smiled and was warm and friendly.  There a little awkward moment....I had eaten and him and his wife sat down to eat, however no one to hold their little youngest.....an aunt turned to me and said 'Can you hold her while they eat?'...'She must of seen my facial expression and said 'are you ok taking her' - said in a way as if I had never a baby...(I have held loads of babies in my lifetime of course I can....just not a baby who belongs to a guy I kinda liked??!!?'......).  I held the bundle of beautyness for a bit then passed her to my mum and went and saw some friends on the far side of the hall and stayed there.  I am happy that mashallah he is happily married with a beautiful wife and three gorgeous daughters.....but at the same time.......reality hit.....how far he had advanced in life and well....I was still just me, and only me. Put a small lump in my throat.....and as always a few aunties and uncles asked 'when will it be my turn'....I just don't know except for when the All Mighty Above decides...

Just have to stand tall be it alone or not, and I think my word of advise to myself and if those want to take it....its take Jennifer Hudsons words...''Act like a Woman.....Think like a Man'' If they can be fickle and selective....so can we! ;)

Muslim Romeo and Juliet