A lot of over thinking and worry in my heart has made me feel more fragile and vulnerable and have gone though some down days. It has been hard in the fact that I am alone and well the 'L' word....lonely.
I am so independent and carefree most of the time and have always had to take care of myself but I guess tiredness can cause that 'blip' moment. There are times when you just want to be able to collapse in someones arms and just be comforted because you can be. After years and years of the same situations but I think a lot of different things mounted up and I guess it took its toll and I had a 'blip' moment...I am only human and I guess this is something that we all go through in life. But with that said I knew something had to change, I had to change my mind-set and that is exactly what I have done.
A lot of people who know me or observe my life assume that they do not see that from my social media accounts etc. But I keep myself busy in order to not be sat somewhere dwelling on things.
Things that I find help me through a 'blip' is first and foremost prayer.
For me this is a relief of me being able to let go emotionally and just ask whole heartily for thankfulness and what ever is good to bring it closer to me and what is not good for me, to move it away from me. My faith is my number one go to always.
The second is saying out aloud 5 or 10 times something you want in your life as soon as you wake up. I find by saying things aloud, it gives me a goal and mindset to follow and I am putting it out there as a affirmation that it WILL happen.....(Mine is "I will find my husband and he will find me)....lol....It has changed my mind set that we will find each other.....I just know it and it has changed my outlook.
Third is reading...I am reading an amazing book at the moment called "Reclaim you heart" by Yasmin Mogahed it has been an eye opener for sure and I would SO recommend this! It is full of positive outlooks and alternative views on how you can move forward and make the best of your life.
Forth - Self care....Book a treatment at a spa or salon, self care is not only outside but inside and who does not love being pampered? I also recently did a reflexology treatment....THAT was an eye opener for sure....I had been feeling stressed and felt tiredness mostly in my feet, so I went to this amazing lady and what a life changing experience that was. I was given notes afterwards and the first thing I was told my "Vocal Chakra" was blocked that I was not able to be as vocal or express my feelings....I was stunned. She also said I was "annoyed / pissed off" and something....Again it was a massive eye opener for me. It made me realise how somewhere I had lost myself, I lost track and control and I knew I had to take charge again, the momentum and mindset that I had started this year with somehow got lost.
I started volenteering in January and had met some amazing people, I handed in my notice in my over worked and over stressed job, I landed a new job and a more chilled and much less stressed environment....I changed my surroundings and kept my loved ones more closer, with doing all the above people had noticed I now actually "look" different....Selfcare within really manifests things that happen around you and how you are as a person inside and out, I honestly believe that.
I have started an amazing new job which is already opening some amazing doors, I am getting back on track with getting more involved in giving back through volenteering, recently I have been on a few little cheeky dates and it is nice to be told I am gorgeous, I am beautiful and if I am told this I am damn well taking it and owning it. (Only now upon reflection am I regretting not responding to the miss call, voice message and emails for C4 "First Dates" from last year). Oh well 😅
Sometimes you can be your own enemy, its time to take control and make the best of what you have around you, love, cherish and give back to those who truely love you for who are wonderfully are.
