6000+ Wow.....Thank you, Merci, Takk, Shukraan, Danke, Terima kasih, Dhan'yavāda :) ♥

Hello there,

6000 more hits? Wow.....I am so touched, without support from those who know me, I don't think I would have been able to carry on with this blog.  More so what amazes me is the demographics of where you all are....Norway, Indonesia, Canada, US, Egypt, Germany, France, Ireland, India and many more places that surprise me when I see them on the map...It means so much to me and always makes me smile. :)

Saying this, my UK family have been telling me to write more! More often! So here I am again, and I guess with my turn around this year, I made myself stick to a mantra....my 2015 mantra:

I can thankfully say that this year I have ticked each and every one of them....I have realised that this year was not all about finding a husband, this year was more about me finding myself.  And by the grace of the one above I have been so lucky and blessed.

To be surrounded by long life friends, work friends who I consider like family, my own loving family and more so, re-connecting with old friends.  To be able to spend time with family members who live thousands of miles away. Being the chance to appreciate that time with them instead of pondering about the time alone I have.  I made it my mission to fill every gap and space of time, thought process with something loving, fun and ended up creating more happy loving memories.  There had been a few times this did not always work, but you know what? I took note of it and ensured that it would not happen again and if anything added what ever I had missed out on to my list for next year.

It always seems to be about this time of year that I think about how this year has been and the possibilities of next year....I guess a bit like Del Boy saying to Rodney from Only Fools and Horses: ''This time next year we shall be millionaires''...In my case ''This time next year I would have found someone!''.  But now I am thinking, where will I have visited by this time next year??

One thing I know is that no relationship can be boxed and I am talking from the starting process...However you meet, however you get to know one another, if you are able to spend time or not.....It comes down to having a connection with someone and seeing where it goes.  The time and effort that is put in and taking each day at a time is the key to knowing.  I think this is why I have taken myself offline, everything is focused on social media these days.  With all the apps that you can follow people on, its become quite a focal point. People judge by photos, posts, activity notifications...these are just images that are created.  This is not the person you are getting to know.  I'm quite old fashioned in the sense that if something is meant to be, it shall be.  It will be whole heartedly for you and nothing can stop it.  I believe everything is written for a purpose. When I look back in general, I have been able to help others and be there for them because I was meant to be.  If I was married had kids, I don't think I would have been able to be there, but I just happened to be and that was my destiny to be.

One thing that I am adding for my mantra is not letting opportunities go, I know I let a few slip this year and this is a big lesson that I had to learn myself and the hard way.  At the same time if an opportunity is to come I shall know that it was meant to be for me.  But if you ever get a change for whatever it is and your gut instinct tells you to go for something...just do it.  A life should not be lived with regrets, you learn from it and strive forwards.

I don't know where my journey will take me next, but knowing that I have your support and reading this brings me joy already. :)

In the mean time I am going to continue to do the things that make me happy, continue to be an idiot - for those who know me well know I never take myself seriously with my ''I woke up like this crazy hair sefies'' to my singing voice notes I hound  and bombard them with......(someone told me I like to laugh a lot.....yeah I do actually part of this years mantra!).  The key is to make yourself happy and everything else with follow.....

I've got E-Male......

Once again its been a while (When is it ever not?), however I have been a little busy by going away again and family events, weddings, birthdays and baby showers :) All good there and I cannot complain as my friends and family are my everything whole heartedly.

This year has been very good to me, I have seen many more close loved ones get married, announce babies and generally creating amazing memories along my travels....Blessed Allhamdulilah.

However that one thing still...lingers....still single! Lol, but its all good, I have learnt so much about myself. Been more assertive about my instinct and reading vibes off people, I have learnt I really can see through people, especially more so when they are trying to conceal things from me.

So this new word has cropped up, and I think it is fair to say this pretty much applies to every guy I have so far come across....F**kboy goes something like this:

- I like you
- But I'm talking to 3 others plus I have a girlfriend/wife/baby mama (cross as apply or not if you have all)
- But I like you
- Trust me
- When you coming to see me?

-_-

And the worse thing is, they seem to make an appearance when my whats app, instagram, facebook profile picture changes......

Seriously? Its like a heard of hyenas running in a pack from their smelly holes all who's numbers I had deleted and seemed to have kept my number and been profile watching!?)....this time however I don't care who or what you are, they all had chances...I let them say a few words of rubbish and with no warning block and delete their asses.  Its all about deleting them and looking ahead and just making yourself happy.

This is something that I have really been focusing on and continuing to do so.

My favourite book is Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist, if you have not read this book, please do, its amazing!

In this I have learnt that you have encounters with people who all play a purpose in your life and from this you learn more about yourself.  Looking back I cant have regrets with the encounters I have with the guys I have met.  They all played a role, filled a time and space almost for me to get ahead.  And now I realise I am at a point where I think I can see much more clearly and what exactly I am looking for.  As amusing it is to see these idiots from the past crawl out of their holes, it makes me realise what I am looking for and more so what I deserve.  These guys have no respect and looking for a quick fix, or more so came to me, went looking else where and thought they could come back to me......Nah uh! That door is closed now, no more second, third or forth chances!

I am being more hopeful and optimistic...however it has not been an easy ride....I had a ''Suitor'' (Which was far from a suitor) come to me, and what made it more difficult my parents knew about this one.  I always seem to react like a cat thrown into water in these situations and do not take to them well.

A very long story short I had hardly any information on him but somehow...I managed to trace him on facebook without knowing his name....I know....don't ask....My instincts are strong and I just know things! I scare myself at times!  However this turned out to be another big miss match (like the policeman who I had met earlier this year!).  But it is always 10 times harder when my parents seem to know about it, they go into this weird formal mode with me, like I am to be accepting to it.  A lot was said between my parents and them which we both never had brought up.  And as hard as it was to say and hear, it has made things better. It is hard seeing them getting older, wishing that I could bring them joy with grandchildren, making them proud, seeing that I have completed half of my faith....my thoughts and feelings I put through this, I could finally tell them....but it was hard and even now it is said and done, it is like a relief....I can finally go ahead on my mission to find the idiot and that I want this more than anything...I really do and I have never said it aloud, but it is what I want, and any fool that gets in my way shall not be spared! I mean business!

Saying this.....after a record 9 years on Singlemuslims and other sites........I DELETED MY PROFILE!!

Gosh that felt amazing! I saw the same old faces still active and on there (Including the bear) and it felt like I had put them all in the rubbish bin in all.  I think the worse thing about that site had been the constant ''You still on here'' messages. So NOMORE! (By all means I think people should use it, however....come one....9 years having that same profile name and written bio...its was time to realise online dating is not for me).  At least I can say 'I gave it a go once...twice....ten millions times''.......LOL.

Each day look for the adventure and value in every small thing, I have met and made friends in amazing ways.....One randomly in the Tube in France, one in Rome in the Vatican square, however we have met and they live internationally through social media we keep in contact, and I have realised that they are like minded.....like a like attracts and that is what I focus on.  These days people are always looking for better, when really they should dig a little deeper and trust their instincts in what they have already found and have. The people already in our lives are our personal treasures, once you find them don't let them go, the ones that are to come, keep them safe and value them also.

This year has been very good to me and I never thought I would have been to the places I have been and more so, met and got back in touch with so many from the past who I value as much as they value me.

Life is too short, if you think of a lost gem in your treasure chest of friendship, dig them out and say hello :) xx

Until next time....(I promise I shall not leave it as long!).