Salaams,
Right First of all I apologise for the lack of writing as I had promised, but I must say as a Singleton, the first six months of this year has already been taken up with the various: Weddings, Engagements and Baby showers also family from abroad over with constant outings, family get togethers.....I must say its all a blessing, however it has highlighted even more so...just how single I am!
The last few years I have managed to joke at weddings and other various family events about not being married ''Oh I'm a bachelorette'', ''Marriage?? Me??'' But this year....its been different, with all the events taken place this year its been asked more so then ever and all I can reply with is now a blank expression.....I have no words to say.....and the thing that kills it and makes it harder, is the person/persons (smug couples) that ask me such a question give me a slight ''shrug and sympathetic sorry we can't help you, but you will be ok somehow'' look.
THAT is what makes it harder.
In January I went speed dating, I went with an open mind and thought okay this is something else....I must admit the thing that I was more taken back about was the amount of gorgeous girls there and thinking ''WHY are they single??'' And then slowly sitting down while every one turned up and registered I took a good look around......and funnily enough instead of the sort of catty looks you would get from other girls at functions checking out the competition......every girl looked around with the same expression and mutual understanding.....''what are we all doing here????''
Despite the acknowledgement from the other girls there, I still thought I might as well see what this is about, spoke to the first guy from the start he was defensive, negative dint want to be here attitude so that was that. Another guy complained how he had a head ache, was tired and hungry (probably looking for a maid and nurse rolled into one.....hang on....that's a wife????). The last four (there were 22 guys) all said the same thing, they could not remember what to say, tired and were drained.......I left with no positive thoughts on it personally.....but it is another means of the search......
I was chatting to a dear friend of mine, and we where speaking how guys are still like cave men.....they want to hunt for their own meat and it seems to be on their terms, guys are reluctant to change......us females have always had to multi task, adapt and evolve where guys are just dead set in their ways. I think it must be a pride thing, most of my guy mates hate the idea of their mums, aunties and sisters helping them find someone, they had all said they would rather find someone themselves. Yet I think us females are pretty easy going and accepting, yet its more of a guys choice if he wants to peruse things with you or not, I find guys can be very fickle.
I met a guy off one of the Muslim sites after feeling very deflated from the whole speed dating thing, my friends persuaded me and so I did. This guy I had not seen his picture before hand, think it was the whole being drained from speed dating, I though what would be the difference if I had or had not seen his picture right?? This guy had actually been quite cocky and confident when I had spoken to him on phone before meeting up, with him being 34 and so confident I asked why had he not put any pictures up on his website profile and on his whats app..he was so cocky and confident he even said that he looked like Silvester Stallone and Robert Downey Jnr....I like Robert Downey Jnr especially in the film 'Only you'...... my face was a bit like :/ at first I did think he was joking, but then he was serious......needless to say, I was encouraged to meet him....after all I had nothing to loose as I had not gained anything from anyone!!!
So I went, I arranged to meet at a local restaurant and as with all girls feeling nervous and needed a pre prep phone call with one of my close friends, I was a bit early so waited in my car. While being on the phone to my dear friend my eyes where darting across the car park catching anything and every living thing that was moving in case it would be him. As my nerves where calmer and I just waited chatting to my friend, I noticed a car pull up and i said, ''oh there's a car pulling up...ahhh no, its not him its ok, just some old man, sorry what where you saying?'' As the car had parked, I noticed my whats app got a notification ''Stop checking me out and come out the car''.....to my horror and silence......''the old man'' WAS HIM.....Silverster Downy Jnr himself......unable to hardly speak and lip syncing so that he could see I was not on the phone, I said omg its HIM!!...I think my friend was lost for words just as I was.....half the time I feel like my life has that laughter in the back round, like in only fools and horses, you know like when that horrific comedy moment is captured.....with a roar of laughter........
I slowly took a deep breath and stepped out of my car, and there he was...short, balding hair, spiked up what he could that remained of his hair, and lil spectacles and a funny head shaped like a number 8....as I saw him look at me up and down and seemed quite pleased....as we walking into the restaurant, he looked like he was my uncle or something, we had to wait for a table to be ready, so where seated by a bar area. And I went for it...''So HOW old are you again?'' and immediately he did a dodgy shift in his seat and mumbled ''34'' and before I could probe more the waitress came over to get us seated at a table.
So we sat and I just wanted to sink in my chair......he sat there confidently....and made conversation.....mainly all about himself, his blue chip job, how it sends him around the world and how he always travels business class and nothing less, moaned about his land lady and how he does not blame the husband for leaving the land lady!!?? Then went on about how the last person he was seeing wanted to marry him, but he went out with her out of pity??!! The poor girls mother had cancer and he felt sorry for her and stayed with her until her mother got better, and then said ''sorry I just cant marry you''. He seemed so smug and I just sat there looking confused, he was so cocky, he got the Silvester thing right though....not in the sense that his number 8 shaped head looked like Silvester Stallone, but more like when ever he spoke and spat his food out he was more like Silvester the cartoon cat!!! And again seeing he was comfortable I raised the same question....''So HOW old are you????''....Again he shifted on his seat and quickly said ''36 give or take''......at this point I laughed and though more like 40+???!!! The meeting was so bad I sat there and I thought....the company might be bad, but the food certainly is not!!! At least I enjoyed the food.......
Needless to say I got out of it, my sister called and used that as my get away card......funnily he messaged me that same evening...''so do you fancy me then?'' I said along the lines we are on different pages...blah blah....to which he said ''he always gets that reaction''.....
So this was all back in January and to be honest not really been active until the past week, where I had been messaged by a nice fellow.....looked normal however not a lot of banter before meeting up (last night). Again it was that daunting nervous feeling....and at least he was a nice guy, however he was a pescetarian which was no issue to me, (someone who eats veg and fish only). However when I asked him if he wanted to try my prawn and squid dish....he declined.......he was allergic to shell fish......at least the conversation flowed, but it lacked something.....chemistry...them ummmphhh.....that fire work thing......
Its definitely getting harder and harder......but we just have to keep on going and striving......I still think its the guys that have issues though........
until next time!!!!
