The year is coming to it's end and 12 months on my quest has lead me no further than how I first started....I have to be honest, I do feel deflated...endless encounters, brick walls and dead ends...the life of spinsterhood looks like it is coming closer and closer....
Looking back at my bend over backward efforts (such as in the post Gone Fishing - http://halaalchickinthecity.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/gone-fishing_19.html) I do have to pat myself on the back for trying at least hey?
I'm in my early thirties and looking around its seems things are not as easy as they seemed in my 20's. Looking at a lot of guys that I have met and know who are in their early to mid thirties its seems that guys/bachelors are very much care free and clinching on to their hay days of their 20's. The difference with those guys I guess they know that they have no age limit when it comes to finding someone as they are established within their careers and comfortable and can take their pick. Looking at girls....I mean females, who are in their early to mid 20's they know exactly what they want and I guess established guys who are at that required level of comfort appear to be in their early to mid 30's. Some may agree or disagree with this, but this is just my observation of things. One guy I know who is just past his mid 30's said its always better to have a girl who is in her early 20's as she is easily 'moulded'....good luck mate! That's all I'm saying on that!! My friend and I came up with a name for these 30 something bachelors stuck in their ways (thirty-Fookers).....
Which leads me to think, have I missed something here, am I 10 years behind in my thinking, should I have been more savvy and aimed for someone 10 years my senior all this time or do I now have to cut to the chase and start looking for a sugar daddy???!! :O
While at work being the end of year office banter including new years resolutions for all of us, mine was ''By June to have my office lot invited to MY wedding'' I'm like you having a laugh by JUNE? 6 MONTHS??? Best joke ever this year that! Then last week at a family dinner, I was speaking to a cousin who asked me how the dating is going, to which I asked him how is his job hunting going (he just graduated from uni). To which he then said, how about a bet....if he gets a job before I find someone I treat him to dinner, however if I find someone before he gets a job he treats ME to dinner.....and we shook on this and I said ''Whats the deadline?'' He then said ''June''??!!! I screehed saying JUNE? WHY JUNE? That's 6 MONTHS AWAY??!'' I then said ''Noooooo September!'' WTH?!!
In this WHOLE YEAR nothing has materialised...how the heck will anything happen in 6 MONTHS???!...No pressure then!!?
I am actually at a blank page moment in all this now, I have pretty much covered everything, Facebook, Twitter, Tinder,(now deleted after like 2 weeks), Speed dating, Blind dating, online dating, Meet up app, Meetings at weddings, Traditional tea meetings in my home, Being pushed into someones living room unknowingly to say Salaam/Hello with no warning what so ever, random encounters, through friends, through cousins, meeting through Aunty's....have I missed anything??
I think I am going to start like this.....with nothing, with doing absolutely nothing....let's see where that gets me....I think that's a good start to the new year.
Wishing you all a joyous and prosperous new year!!!!
- A Halaal Chick In The City ;)
Monday, 29 December 2014
Monday, 24 November 2014
Wow-ember??!!!
Seriously where has time gone??! I know its November but I can still remember the start of this year!
I have to start by saying, I get direct messages on my twitter account and I have to say I am so humbled and greatful for the support and kind words. It reassures me and encourages me to write more....more so from the heart :) So this is me saying to you....A BIG thank you :) <3
- As we are in November here are some movements that are happing this month:
- No Shave November (Ladies you know them no shaving legs flex is added heat/warm protection in winter!!! ;p )
- Movember
- National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo)
- In Old English November was ‘Windmonath’ (wind month) or ‘Blotmonath’ (blood or sacrifice month).
- The name ‘November’ comes from the Latin for nine (novem), as it was the ninth month of the Roman calendar.
- The Dutch called it ‘slachtmaand’ (slaughter month); in Welsh it is ‘Tachwedd’, also meaning ‘slaughter’ referring to the killing of animals.
- Also the month of every year I reflect on the past year gone, as I realise the end of the current year is on the horizon.... And start to have that Del Boy quote moment "This time next year I"ll be........???!!! (A year closer to spinsterhood! This has now been my tradition for many a year now).
- Mr (West London)
- Mr (East London)
- Cindafella
- The Fireman
- The Bear (I have never mentioned The Bear until now...I shall come back to this one).
- Mr Mayfair -An international business guy who was a globe trotter who would contact me at unearthly hours due to his random travel locations and had crazy small minded views and had to always be right! And just drove me up the wall with his views and arguments as I don't agree with him!
- Mr Twit-er (A guy messaged me on twitter, and we got charting and low and behold...turned out to be married).
- Mr Super Nice (A super duper nice guy, not blogged about this one as I got introduced akwardly to him in the motherland by my cousin, and well bless him....he was sweet....and a tad stuck in the 1980's in the sense of everything Bollywood....hard to explain but I get it lol)
- Mr Brazil (No he was not brazilian just we went opposite sides of the earth at the same time and his location earned him his nickname and it was the only way my friends would remember him by....lol......A really nice guy I met a few times...before we each went on our travels.....when I went to the motherland he went to Brazil and it seemed being further away half way across the planet we communicated more than ever and kept in touch a lot, however back in blighty we met up again and something in the what's app communication connection had gone not only on what's app....but in person too......And suddenly....."Pouff" he Dissapeared!
- Congratulations
- Lord North West Colindale of London
The Bear:
The reason for this name....out of all the guys I have met...he's a big giant muscly hunky bear with beard and everything...*hmmmmmmm*.....mind you including he had the moodyness of a big bear too! He was from one of these sites, but last two years or so messaged me on and off and went aloof....until this year....He messaged me "Let's just meet up"....To which I was like OK! So we met up for some chai, he was ever so charming, well spoken and for a first he mentioned his mum straight off......He said she knew one of my family members which took me more by surprise....1.He mentioned me to his mum? 2.He knew of my family!? Green ticks right?? Anyhooo for a first meeting it was really chilled casual and nice :)
So we got chatting and met up quite a bit and from what it seemed to me he was interested....There where times I had been out with my girlfriends and he messaged asking what was I up to and when I said I was out and about in London....low and behold he would hurry from where ever he was and join us....which ment my friends met him and also thought he was really nice got on with him and liked him. One thing I liked, The bear was a complete gent around me, and really respectful....Once we met up and he was so fidgety to the point he was sitting on his hands and I swear he had this really weird look like a deer caught in headlights kinda look.....I think he picked up on my confused/amused/what is wrong with you today look? But each time we hung out the Convo flowed and he was a laugh to be around....but that weird caught in the headlights moment...What was that all about?...I half kinda knew....but he knew I noticed his odd behaviour.....He messaged me...he said when he is with me, he would prob make a move but then look at me and say I looked sooooo innocent and felt so bad for even trying to......lol.....I just found it amusing how lil 5ft"3 me can make a big 5"11 bear (who's a bouncer at times at one of London's biggest busiest clubs also) have a scared look on his face....lol......To which I then said...."OK what's going on here"...The bear then said "If someone was to ask me would I marry you tomorrow, I would say 'No'....But then again who's to say that could change? I was like "huh?".....See the thing with the bear, he was giving mixed messages, away from me would be so flirty and dead cheeky....and in person a complete gent.....??!!
Either way we hung out a lot and he never laid a finger on me, which I liked....He knew I'm not that type of girl to mess around with. Even while his cheeky messages carried on...I let it slide as in person he was a total gent....I even made him my famous biscuits that I always get hounded for....He said he "liked" them squinting as he tried one...(I knew he loved them but he din't want to admit it.....everyone loves my biscuits ;p).......However his Mum and brothers "loved" them....(course I was thinking I must be in there if his mum and brothers liked my baking skills without even meeting them - Yep TYPICAL female way of thinking I know lol!). However on the other side of things, he would get on a downer...and I am quite a positive person, and more than anything I will always be a friend first to anyone I am getting to know. He moaned about work and home life, and I was encouraging, understanding and supportive as much as I possibly could..I'm quite patient...But over the weeks it started to get me down....and more so his negativity drained me.......I never got a thanks or the smallest appreciation for my help and advice, time....friendship even.....And it seemed so one sided....more about him....He became distant and cold......
Eventually I left the moody bear to it in his cave....I got a lot of hot and cold mix signals from The Bear to the point I just left alone and he did too...To which after he said Not being ready etc", he was still very much active on the dating sites....hmmmm.....*raises an eyebrow*.....oh well.....If anything it just assured me that I'm sure of myself and really comfortable of how I am and what I am.....As the year is coming to an end.....I am just greatful for each new day. His loss and he won't be getting non of ma biscuits anymore either ;p
So we got chatting and met up quite a bit and from what it seemed to me he was interested....There where times I had been out with my girlfriends and he messaged asking what was I up to and when I said I was out and about in London....low and behold he would hurry from where ever he was and join us....which ment my friends met him and also thought he was really nice got on with him and liked him. One thing I liked, The bear was a complete gent around me, and really respectful....Once we met up and he was so fidgety to the point he was sitting on his hands and I swear he had this really weird look like a deer caught in headlights kinda look.....I think he picked up on my confused/amused/what is wrong with you today look? But each time we hung out the Convo flowed and he was a laugh to be around....but that weird caught in the headlights moment...What was that all about?...I half kinda knew....but he knew I noticed his odd behaviour.....He messaged me...he said when he is with me, he would prob make a move but then look at me and say I looked sooooo innocent and felt so bad for even trying to......lol.....I just found it amusing how lil 5ft"3 me can make a big 5"11 bear (who's a bouncer at times at one of London's biggest busiest clubs also) have a scared look on his face....lol......To which I then said...."OK what's going on here"...The bear then said "If someone was to ask me would I marry you tomorrow, I would say 'No'....But then again who's to say that could change? I was like "huh?".....See the thing with the bear, he was giving mixed messages, away from me would be so flirty and dead cheeky....and in person a complete gent.....??!!
Either way we hung out a lot and he never laid a finger on me, which I liked....He knew I'm not that type of girl to mess around with. Even while his cheeky messages carried on...I let it slide as in person he was a total gent....I even made him my famous biscuits that I always get hounded for....He said he "liked" them squinting as he tried one...(I knew he loved them but he din't want to admit it.....everyone loves my biscuits ;p).......However his Mum and brothers "loved" them....(course I was thinking I must be in there if his mum and brothers liked my baking skills without even meeting them - Yep TYPICAL female way of thinking I know lol!). However on the other side of things, he would get on a downer...and I am quite a positive person, and more than anything I will always be a friend first to anyone I am getting to know. He moaned about work and home life, and I was encouraging, understanding and supportive as much as I possibly could..I'm quite patient...But over the weeks it started to get me down....and more so his negativity drained me.......I never got a thanks or the smallest appreciation for my help and advice, time....friendship even.....And it seemed so one sided....more about him....He became distant and cold......
Eventually I left the moody bear to it in his cave....I got a lot of hot and cold mix signals from The Bear to the point I just left alone and he did too...To which after he said Not being ready etc", he was still very much active on the dating sites....hmmmm.....*raises an eyebrow*.....oh well.....If anything it just assured me that I'm sure of myself and really comfortable of how I am and what I am.....As the year is coming to an end.....I am just greatful for each new day. His loss and he won't be getting non of ma biscuits anymore either ;p
One of my favourite books is The Alchemist....and with each new day we are all given the chance....Tomorrow someone can walk out of your life forever.....However tomorrow someone could walk into your life and end up staying forever......
P.s Apologies for spelling and grammer.....its silly o clock and I shall Bid you good night ;)
Sunday, 9 November 2014
Evolution of dating......
Hello!!
I know it has been a while, as the winter nights are drawing in, I have been compelled to the cosy Onsie and weekends by the lampshade snuggling up to the new love of my life.....and still keeps me up till late and keeps my mind ticking........yes his name is Netflix!!! ;p
Besides being busy with family, work and just everyday life and watching series 1&2 of Twin Peaks, I had met two more characters to add to my nickname list.....The first being another from an Online dating site, after nearly giving up and then having a re-think in my search criteria I thought it was a bit more strict and saved the search filter....There I came across the profile of ''Congratulations'' and there is no reason for this name, as this is a matter of fact his name! (This of asian/arabic word for ''Congratulations'' and bob's your uncle that is his name!). So from the start I called him this and knew and dint seem to have a problem with me calling him this....lol.
So within a week of getting to know with a few messages and phone calls, we arranged to meet....now Congratulations is from East London, and we arranged to meet in East London (not that I had an issue with this, as I am a child of adventure and shall be more than happy to travel the earth in search of my other half....ever if he reside in...East London (I personally love East London by the way, always have had some connection with it!) :)
So I went to the ends and we met up at a Shisha/Restaurant place....and he was good looking, casual and yes had that typical East London lingo thing going on....now he was really chatty which is not a bad trait to have at all, but the kind of chatty that was like a motor mouth!!! And the conversation would dart from one story he would tell me to another, like I automaticly knew what he was talking about (a lot of drama) and as funny as it was, he would talk, he might as well have been speaking another language! At a few points I just let him ramble on as I sat there clueless what he was on about as he expected me to know and when I did stress I had no idea what he was on about he would stop and express with both hands waving expressively ''I THOLD YUH!'' And at this point I would be shouting 'NO YOU DIN'T!!??'...At this point I had a flash vision of being old with this fella and probably STILL be having the same sort of lost in translation communication issues!
One thing that came up was the fact he never left the vicinity of East London, and seemed to have an issue that I was always around London and different areas and outside of London. He said something about ''Why venture out when everything is here (meaning steak house and Nando's)....Basically he just did not see the point of seeking different culinary cultures and even said "Why go out when you can make it at home?!!" Don't get me wrong, but I am a homebody, but to the extreme of not venturing beyond the A406 is a bit.....weird......well to me it is!
Anyhow while all this mis-communication was going on, in a few of the pauses I did catch him eyeing me up, which some guys I have notice can do on the sly, and then there are those who just do it blatantly.....The reason for the :/ face is because motor mouth congratulations would stop talking and well spoke with his eyes I guess which I found a bit :/ Either way after a bit of Shisha I was on my way....I dint really have any attraction -wow-chemistry, Congratulations just seemed like a lot of hard work....after meeting up there where some messages exchanged and calls things where going.....flat...well for me anyway. Our conversations started to go something like this..'Hi...Hows you? Hey...What you up to...Night....Hey...etc......There was no getting to know me and when I would ask anything it would be basic one worded answers....Then the name calling started....Hey Curvy.....(now I'm no skinny binny or a big girl at all but I think it was the tone?.....anyhow I ignored it, until it changed to 'Hey fatty'..... -_-
Seriously? And the thing is I said something straight away but it dint stop.....And this fool still kept saying 'Hey fatty....' And well yeah I ignored him and this seemed to get to him. I eventually said to him to get back on the dating sites and find a Skinny Binny! To which he would just reply ''LOL''......kmt.....The last time he said it, I said I was done and block his ass on whats app, to which HE said I should get off my high horse! I made a point that he does not know me a single a bit to EVEN THINK I would be someone who would even know how to mount a flipping high horse let alone already be on one!!!! He got blocked.....
So that was Commiserations done with.....I mean Congratulations......
Then a few weeks later after going back on the dating sites I got chatting to another London fellow, this time one from WEST London....However within the first 5 days whats app messages had been sent and with no phone calls exchanged I already knew by his grammer and tone of speaking he was a posh one..to which I might add I have named Mr Posh.....
Within the few days we had arranged to meet up, but for some normal reason I could not make it, and I informed him and apologised and said we should reschedule.....To which I got a message which seemed like a bit of a lecture that he was extremely busy and that he did not give just anybody his time!!!
Anyhoo....we rescheduled for two days later.....Again me being me....I saw no photo....yes yes I know....I never learn when it comes to no photos....But I guess that really is blind dating!! ;p
So the day came to meeting up and he called and low and behold he spoke like a public school boy....man/guy.....and when he called I spotted him, smartly dressed with a crisp shirt and smart trousers and ray bands and....his man bag.
He informed me that he is a humanist and a Muslim.....that the two are seperate things.....I kinda get his point but I personally think being a Muslim you are a humanist and should always do good no matter what....He said "By the Grace of God" He was doing well for himself "Lord willingly" He will continue to do so....Me by habit I say "Allhamdulilah" or "Inshallah" which there is nothing wrong with what he said, but I did notice this about him and mentioned it, to which I got an abrupt reply "Well, I'm not Arab am I??!"...Well I got told right there...
As the evening went on he said my name is also a men's name to which I had never heard of and I said "Your calling me a man then?" To which he said yes....a tranny!!!" as you can read....a charmer this one!!....He then asked me what else do I like doing I said I have an interest in photography and as I am always at weddings. I love the ambiance and find the natural photos when people do not realise I am taking an actual photo com you the nicest.....To which he said...."Oh right..."So your a pervert.....a photographer pervert" And once again he gawffawed loudly......By this point I knew this dude was pretty lived in his little Nnnnorth Westtt London world......
Okay when I have met up with guys yes I always get my purse out and then the guy will be like "I've got this".....I mean I'm always happy to pay being the modernist...... BUT on a first meeting and a review meeting with the girls the question "Did he pay" always arises.....I am a bit old fashioned, but I don't think all guys realise that this small gesture can be a deal breaker as it is all noted in the " First impressions count". As I reached for my purse and before I could say or suggest ANYTHING he said "We shall go halves".....I was like OK sure.....!!??
So that was that, talk about a right character....this one had pretty much corrected me (well he thought he had) and insulted me in slap and nicely pat manner....He said he would be in touch, and I was like..."ohok" Not fussed at all I I did or did not hear from him again!!! That evening I got a message and he said...."Thank you for a lovely evening I had a Fantastic time"......My facial reaction was pretty much like a confused.."hain???" Face :/
I said the usual bog standard "yeah was nice meeting you also"....A few days later I got a text from Posh Toff which went along the lines of this:
"Do hope you are well? I have been thinking about meeting you....and.....(Do I sound like a high court judge here who is about to make his decision?? Just wanted to say it gives me great pleasure to announce that I'm very much interested in getting to know you better. Gosh that deliberation went on for a bit!!!
My first reaction was naturally laugh and shake my head, let this fool constantly auto-correct AND insult me further??!! Nah -uh not me......BAH!!!!!
So once again feeling a little deflated from Mr Never leaves east ends to Mr Nnnorth West London.....I'm not sure where my compass will take me next on this search.....It can be draining at times.....And there are times when I think to myself am I doing my best to be as simple as possible....
Looking back at how dating used to be so simple.....walking up to someone and SPEAKING to them and getting to know them in time....now its apps galore...Tinder, Happen, Dating sites ,make it multi harder now....one eye is on you while the other eye is still wandering.....
Its a jungle out there.....
I know it has been a while, as the winter nights are drawing in, I have been compelled to the cosy Onsie and weekends by the lampshade snuggling up to the new love of my life.....and still keeps me up till late and keeps my mind ticking........yes his name is Netflix!!! ;p
Besides being busy with family, work and just everyday life and watching series 1&2 of Twin Peaks, I had met two more characters to add to my nickname list.....The first being another from an Online dating site, after nearly giving up and then having a re-think in my search criteria I thought it was a bit more strict and saved the search filter....There I came across the profile of ''Congratulations'' and there is no reason for this name, as this is a matter of fact his name! (This of asian/arabic word for ''Congratulations'' and bob's your uncle that is his name!). So from the start I called him this and knew and dint seem to have a problem with me calling him this....lol.
So within a week of getting to know with a few messages and phone calls, we arranged to meet....now Congratulations is from East London, and we arranged to meet in East London (not that I had an issue with this, as I am a child of adventure and shall be more than happy to travel the earth in search of my other half....ever if he reside in...East London (I personally love East London by the way, always have had some connection with it!) :)
So I went to the ends and we met up at a Shisha/Restaurant place....and he was good looking, casual and yes had that typical East London lingo thing going on....now he was really chatty which is not a bad trait to have at all, but the kind of chatty that was like a motor mouth!!! And the conversation would dart from one story he would tell me to another, like I automaticly knew what he was talking about (a lot of drama) and as funny as it was, he would talk, he might as well have been speaking another language! At a few points I just let him ramble on as I sat there clueless what he was on about as he expected me to know and when I did stress I had no idea what he was on about he would stop and express with both hands waving expressively ''I THOLD YUH!'' And at this point I would be shouting 'NO YOU DIN'T!!??'...At this point I had a flash vision of being old with this fella and probably STILL be having the same sort of lost in translation communication issues!
One thing that came up was the fact he never left the vicinity of East London, and seemed to have an issue that I was always around London and different areas and outside of London. He said something about ''Why venture out when everything is here (meaning steak house and Nando's)....Basically he just did not see the point of seeking different culinary cultures and even said "Why go out when you can make it at home?!!" Don't get me wrong, but I am a homebody, but to the extreme of not venturing beyond the A406 is a bit.....weird......well to me it is!
Anyhow while all this mis-communication was going on, in a few of the pauses I did catch him eyeing me up, which some guys I have notice can do on the sly, and then there are those who just do it blatantly.....The reason for the :/ face is because motor mouth congratulations would stop talking and well spoke with his eyes I guess which I found a bit :/ Either way after a bit of Shisha I was on my way....I dint really have any attraction -wow-chemistry, Congratulations just seemed like a lot of hard work....after meeting up there where some messages exchanged and calls things where going.....flat...well for me anyway. Our conversations started to go something like this..'Hi...Hows you? Hey...What you up to...Night....Hey...etc......There was no getting to know me and when I would ask anything it would be basic one worded answers....Then the name calling started....Hey Curvy.....(now I'm no skinny binny or a big girl at all but I think it was the tone?.....anyhow I ignored it, until it changed to 'Hey fatty'..... -_-
Seriously? And the thing is I said something straight away but it dint stop.....And this fool still kept saying 'Hey fatty....' And well yeah I ignored him and this seemed to get to him. I eventually said to him to get back on the dating sites and find a Skinny Binny! To which he would just reply ''LOL''......kmt.....The last time he said it, I said I was done and block his ass on whats app, to which HE said I should get off my high horse! I made a point that he does not know me a single a bit to EVEN THINK I would be someone who would even know how to mount a flipping high horse let alone already be on one!!!! He got blocked.....
So that was Commiserations done with.....I mean Congratulations......
Then a few weeks later after going back on the dating sites I got chatting to another London fellow, this time one from WEST London....However within the first 5 days whats app messages had been sent and with no phone calls exchanged I already knew by his grammer and tone of speaking he was a posh one..to which I might add I have named Mr Posh.....
Within the few days we had arranged to meet up, but for some normal reason I could not make it, and I informed him and apologised and said we should reschedule.....To which I got a message which seemed like a bit of a lecture that he was extremely busy and that he did not give just anybody his time!!!
Anyhoo....we rescheduled for two days later.....Again me being me....I saw no photo....yes yes I know....I never learn when it comes to no photos....But I guess that really is blind dating!! ;p
So the day came to meeting up and he called and low and behold he spoke like a public school boy....man/guy.....and when he called I spotted him, smartly dressed with a crisp shirt and smart trousers and ray bands and....his man bag.
I just have this thing about man bags....You can have some manly man bags and
then "fe-male type man bags"....I don't know it just makes me cringe....So we went to this Indian restaurant...And he seemed pleasant, jolly enough....A bit over animimated but I found it amusing. As we ordered he spoke to the waiter in his posh public school boy accent and asked "What part of South Asia are you from?"....To which the waiter hesitated as he was expecting a food order not an order of a question of where he was from.....He answered a bit bemused and Mr Posh then declared that he's from "The Punn-Jabb" Said in that very way....Strike cringe moment number 1......As we waited for the food, he was really chatty...I asked him where about I'm London was he from and he said "Nnnorth Westttt London" When he said that I said "Oh like West Hampstead"....he then declared like he was the Earl and lord of this place......"Colindale".....I was like "oh OK?" And again he repeated "Yes Nnnnorth Westttt London, I am a Londoner after all" And would then do this posh *Gaffaw of a laugh*.....I said I used to live in Enfield to which Sir-Lord-Earl-Of-Nnnnorth-Westtt-London-Colindale "Informed" me that Enfield is NOT part of London.....Me being me screeched with a "are you kidding me" laughter saying "Yes it is!!!??" To which his Lordship said again in his posh toff accent "Well I AM from Nnnnorth Westttt London after all"....It was like he was always going to be right and I was going to be wrong....He informed me that he is a humanist and a Muslim.....that the two are seperate things.....I kinda get his point but I personally think being a Muslim you are a humanist and should always do good no matter what....He said "By the Grace of God" He was doing well for himself "Lord willingly" He will continue to do so....Me by habit I say "Allhamdulilah" or "Inshallah" which there is nothing wrong with what he said, but I did notice this about him and mentioned it, to which I got an abrupt reply "Well, I'm not Arab am I??!"...Well I got told right there...
As the evening went on he said my name is also a men's name to which I had never heard of and I said "Your calling me a man then?" To which he said yes....a tranny!!!" as you can read....a charmer this one!!....He then asked me what else do I like doing I said I have an interest in photography and as I am always at weddings. I love the ambiance and find the natural photos when people do not realise I am taking an actual photo com you the nicest.....To which he said...."Oh right..."So your a pervert.....a photographer pervert" And once again he gawffawed loudly......By this point I knew this dude was pretty lived in his little Nnnnorth Westtt London world......
Okay when I have met up with guys yes I always get my purse out and then the guy will be like "I've got this".....I mean I'm always happy to pay being the modernist...... BUT on a first meeting and a review meeting with the girls the question "Did he pay" always arises.....I am a bit old fashioned, but I don't think all guys realise that this small gesture can be a deal breaker as it is all noted in the " First impressions count". As I reached for my purse and before I could say or suggest ANYTHING he said "We shall go halves".....I was like OK sure.....!!??
So that was that, talk about a right character....this one had pretty much corrected me (well he thought he had) and insulted me in slap and nicely pat manner....He said he would be in touch, and I was like..."ohok" Not fussed at all I I did or did not hear from him again!!! That evening I got a message and he said...."Thank you for a lovely evening I had a Fantastic time"......My facial reaction was pretty much like a confused.."hain???" Face :/
I said the usual bog standard "yeah was nice meeting you also"....A few days later I got a text from Posh Toff which went along the lines of this:
"Do hope you are well? I have been thinking about meeting you....and.....(Do I sound like a high court judge here who is about to make his decision?? Just wanted to say it gives me great pleasure to announce that I'm very much interested in getting to know you better. Gosh that deliberation went on for a bit!!!
My first reaction was naturally laugh and shake my head, let this fool constantly auto-correct AND insult me further??!! Nah -uh not me......BAH!!!!!
So once again feeling a little deflated from Mr Never leaves east ends to Mr Nnnorth West London.....I'm not sure where my compass will take me next on this search.....It can be draining at times.....And there are times when I think to myself am I doing my best to be as simple as possible....
Looking back at how dating used to be so simple.....walking up to someone and SPEAKING to them and getting to know them in time....now its apps galore...Tinder, Happen, Dating sites ,make it multi harder now....one eye is on you while the other eye is still wandering.....
Its a jungle out there.....
Thursday, 28 August 2014
I've not past my sell by date....just gone off.....offline that is!!
Well this month has been hectic and busy with work and family. (and yes more wedding stuff ....I still have more events this weekend!!!)...
I have to say my work family and family are amazing and everyday I am able to be my strutting my diva stuff self (I get called a Tea Diva at work and quite rightly so as Tea is sooooo my thing!). But the main thing I am always 100% myself.....until I am around anyone I kinda take a liking to.....I turn into this shy....quiteness-silent being (which is soooo not me!!). And I hate it as I cannot control it......
I have to say I have not been active on websites for months on end this year, something inside me just felt it was good to stay offline in that area......I still think those who are just thinking about looking for someone should by all means still go through that channel, but for me personally I tried tested and a bit tired from it....for now lol.
So this wedding is a close family wedding and to be honest I'm always peacocking at weddings where I am heavily involved (Which is has been every wedding the past 6 years!) Yeah Weddings are a big part of my social life!!! But I think its an amazing way to network and meet people (not just guys!).....obviously there are family, then the bride or grooms in-law family, then the bride or grooms family from the other side, then the bride or grooms social friends and then cousins and uncle and aunties!!! So over the years I have collated more friends and acquiescences..mainly in the form of aunties, great aunts and grand mothers.....lol. I think this is a great investment, as you never know when they will pop out of nowhere and pull something out of the top hat like a rabbit! ;)
So about 2 years ago I met this Aunty (I know this was two years ago as my gorgeous friend just had her 2nd wedding anniversary and its her Aunty!) Anyway she is the one who got me introduced to Aunty Rishta/Aunty Cilla Black....I had not heard from her for about 2 weeks ...I did think I needed to call her but never got around to it due to the busy weekends and late nights I had with the wedding and juggling in work in there also. Last night I had been informing a friend about Aunty Rishta Cilla Black, and right when I had my phone rang and it was her!! I was so happy as from our first conversation we hit it off and got on like a house on fire!
I picked up and said ''Salaams Aunty you are going to live a LONG life as I had just been speaking about you!" She laughed and got right down to business....she said she had met a lovely lady who has a Son, he's 38 and works in IT in the City...I had sent two recent photo's of myself to Aunty Rishta Cilla Black and she said she had shown this guys mum but not him......and his mum liked me....She then said if I was ok with it, she would pass my number to him, but she would not show my photos to him, as he has an i-phone 5 and that me and him could swap photos bless her. She then said that once numbers had been swapped we could meet up for coffee as we don't work far from each other and take it from there. She then added that she has not been to a wedding in two years and has soooo many glitzy outfits but no where to go in them.....she also added if at any of the wedding events I was going to if anyone knew of a single man who is about 60 years old to let her know...she said there is this gentleman who is interested but he's 49!!! She said I'm looking for someone who's 60......bless her heart.....and then it dawned on me.....I knew why I clicked with this lady.......SHE'S LIKE ME!!! Gets high on life and meeting new people (as well as trying to match make myself and others at the same time!!!)......Then I thought of something else....yes there is a part of me that has to be strong at weddings as you ALWAYS hear the same thing ''your turn next'', ''you must be fussy'', or that look.....that *one day it will be your turn look with a slight arm squeeze*.
But it made me think, this Aunty Rishta Cilla Black.....her heart is so big.....not only is she looking for love, but helping others to find it too....And I have always tried to to the same.....love makes the world go around and your reason for living, everything happens for a reason and I think its up to us to see the signs, see how we deal with things and to learn about ourselves and find out what we know is best for us.....No matter what age........ :)
I have to say my work family and family are amazing and everyday I am able to be my strutting my diva stuff self (I get called a Tea Diva at work and quite rightly so as Tea is sooooo my thing!). But the main thing I am always 100% myself.....until I am around anyone I kinda take a liking to.....I turn into this shy....quiteness-silent being (which is soooo not me!!). And I hate it as I cannot control it......
I have to say I have not been active on websites for months on end this year, something inside me just felt it was good to stay offline in that area......I still think those who are just thinking about looking for someone should by all means still go through that channel, but for me personally I tried tested and a bit tired from it....for now lol.
So this wedding is a close family wedding and to be honest I'm always peacocking at weddings where I am heavily involved (Which is has been every wedding the past 6 years!) Yeah Weddings are a big part of my social life!!! But I think its an amazing way to network and meet people (not just guys!).....obviously there are family, then the bride or grooms in-law family, then the bride or grooms family from the other side, then the bride or grooms social friends and then cousins and uncle and aunties!!! So over the years I have collated more friends and acquiescences..mainly in the form of aunties, great aunts and grand mothers.....lol. I think this is a great investment, as you never know when they will pop out of nowhere and pull something out of the top hat like a rabbit! ;)
So about 2 years ago I met this Aunty (I know this was two years ago as my gorgeous friend just had her 2nd wedding anniversary and its her Aunty!) Anyway she is the one who got me introduced to Aunty Rishta/Aunty Cilla Black....I had not heard from her for about 2 weeks ...I did think I needed to call her but never got around to it due to the busy weekends and late nights I had with the wedding and juggling in work in there also. Last night I had been informing a friend about Aunty Rishta Cilla Black, and right when I had my phone rang and it was her!! I was so happy as from our first conversation we hit it off and got on like a house on fire!
I picked up and said ''Salaams Aunty you are going to live a LONG life as I had just been speaking about you!" She laughed and got right down to business....she said she had met a lovely lady who has a Son, he's 38 and works in IT in the City...I had sent two recent photo's of myself to Aunty Rishta Cilla Black and she said she had shown this guys mum but not him......and his mum liked me....She then said if I was ok with it, she would pass my number to him, but she would not show my photos to him, as he has an i-phone 5 and that me and him could swap photos bless her. She then said that once numbers had been swapped we could meet up for coffee as we don't work far from each other and take it from there. She then added that she has not been to a wedding in two years and has soooo many glitzy outfits but no where to go in them.....she also added if at any of the wedding events I was going to if anyone knew of a single man who is about 60 years old to let her know...she said there is this gentleman who is interested but he's 49!!! She said I'm looking for someone who's 60......bless her heart.....and then it dawned on me.....I knew why I clicked with this lady.......SHE'S LIKE ME!!! Gets high on life and meeting new people (as well as trying to match make myself and others at the same time!!!)......Then I thought of something else....yes there is a part of me that has to be strong at weddings as you ALWAYS hear the same thing ''your turn next'', ''you must be fussy'', or that look.....that *one day it will be your turn look with a slight arm squeeze*.
But it made me think, this Aunty Rishta Cilla Black.....her heart is so big.....not only is she looking for love, but helping others to find it too....And I have always tried to to the same.....love makes the world go around and your reason for living, everything happens for a reason and I think its up to us to see the signs, see how we deal with things and to learn about ourselves and find out what we know is best for us.....No matter what age........ :)
Sunday, 10 August 2014
It's been a long time (long time), I shouldn't of left you (left you), Without a dope beat to step to (step to, step to, step to, step to). ;)
Hellooooooooooo / Salaaaaaaam!!
Its been a VERYYYYYYYYYY long time I know!!!
In June I spent some precious time back in the mother land and more important with my precious pearl me Nani / Grandmother. She is amazing and I am always in awe of her, I love sitting and chatting to her and I am always grateful and envious of my cousins who live so close to her as alas she is half way across the planet from me. But as always it was fun, yet always so hard leaving her.....of coarse I heard the words of
''When will I hear the news of you getting married, you are the only one left''. Every she says such things I have a huge lump in my throat as I get quite emotional when I hear her say such things. Another thing that gets me emotional, is how she speaks of my Nana / Grandfather..(he has since passed away unfortunately)...how she says he was a good man, was a gentleman, never swore at her once.....it made me think, and I can speak for myself I have a bit of a potty mouth at times, but I do not think I have ever sworn at anyone to be spiteful....yet I have seen people these days hide and cover their true feelings as an easy way to protect themselves by using hurtful language...its like once things are said, they cannot be taken back. Yes you can forgive, but does not mean you cannot forget. But a true gentleman would never do such a thing, and I think these days that is such a rarity in itself.
Speaking to my Nani made me realise how things where back then and how solid their relationship was. And yes they did indeed have an arranged marriage, looking back at my Nana he was so laid back and a joker, he used to shuffle dance around the house like Bill Cosby in the The Cosby show.... :) But with his laid back jokey mood and my Nani's sensible-ness it was amusing seeing them together and how my Nana would wind my Nani up, lovingly and seeing that was always lovely, heart warming. I just hope I find an inch of what my grandparents had and what my parents have and I will be forever thankful and grateful. She did say one thing to me......She hopes I find someone who I love just as much as I love her.....and that indeed got a lump in my throat.......
Naturally being back home, every single family I saw there spoke of the 'M' word....Marriage!! All I could say was ''It will happen when it happens''....
Upon my return it was head on into Ramadaan, which I will not lie, I did find hard this year, but managed to soldier on!
It is now full blown wedding season, and yes I have weddings to be part of and attend! Wedding meetings, Mehendis, Nikkah and Wedding reception, takes me right up to September!
However today I got a call from one of my friends aunties (who I had met at a wedding) and she informed me about a lady.....lets call her Aunty Rishta / Aunty Cilla Black...well I was given her number and I called this afternoon and introduced myself....to which I was told...'Oh hello...would you mind calling in about 15 minutes as there is a general knowledge quiz on TV and if I could call back later......(or maybe one of them Indian drama's on Star Plus was on and dint want to be disturbed like my mum gets absorbed into them!). So I waited and called, she seemed like a nice lady and asked me questions like full name, where I live and age and then asked.....''what is your skin tone colour''....I was like excuse me!!!?? She said are you fair? Dark? I was like errmmm to be honest I don't look into the colour of someone but she said she gets a lot of people who she has previously spoken to, still do tend to ask....so again she asked 'What colour would you say you are?'' I was like erm...well I have tanned quite a bit.....but I'm not dark, the next thing I hear she says in a slow (while writing on a piece of paper) ''Sun Tanned''....I was like er...ohh...What else could I say??
So she said she will get back to me in a few days...which is fine and I sent her some photo's of myself also.....
I shall keep you all posted, and once again sorry its been ages! And I promise to post more often, I feel like I have left gaps here and there, but when things crop up I shall blog this!!!
Ooooh and another thing I am now on Instagram! Follow me on Halaalchickinthecity !!! :)
I shall leave you with this parting gift....which indeed did have me ''On the floor''.....rolling around laughing!!!!!
Its been a VERYYYYYYYYYY long time I know!!!
In June I spent some precious time back in the mother land and more important with my precious pearl me Nani / Grandmother. She is amazing and I am always in awe of her, I love sitting and chatting to her and I am always grateful and envious of my cousins who live so close to her as alas she is half way across the planet from me. But as always it was fun, yet always so hard leaving her.....of coarse I heard the words of
''When will I hear the news of you getting married, you are the only one left''. Every she says such things I have a huge lump in my throat as I get quite emotional when I hear her say such things. Another thing that gets me emotional, is how she speaks of my Nana / Grandfather..(he has since passed away unfortunately)...how she says he was a good man, was a gentleman, never swore at her once.....it made me think, and I can speak for myself I have a bit of a potty mouth at times, but I do not think I have ever sworn at anyone to be spiteful....yet I have seen people these days hide and cover their true feelings as an easy way to protect themselves by using hurtful language...its like once things are said, they cannot be taken back. Yes you can forgive, but does not mean you cannot forget. But a true gentleman would never do such a thing, and I think these days that is such a rarity in itself.
Speaking to my Nani made me realise how things where back then and how solid their relationship was. And yes they did indeed have an arranged marriage, looking back at my Nana he was so laid back and a joker, he used to shuffle dance around the house like Bill Cosby in the The Cosby show.... :) But with his laid back jokey mood and my Nani's sensible-ness it was amusing seeing them together and how my Nana would wind my Nani up, lovingly and seeing that was always lovely, heart warming. I just hope I find an inch of what my grandparents had and what my parents have and I will be forever thankful and grateful. She did say one thing to me......She hopes I find someone who I love just as much as I love her.....and that indeed got a lump in my throat.......
Naturally being back home, every single family I saw there spoke of the 'M' word....Marriage!! All I could say was ''It will happen when it happens''....
Upon my return it was head on into Ramadaan, which I will not lie, I did find hard this year, but managed to soldier on!
It is now full blown wedding season, and yes I have weddings to be part of and attend! Wedding meetings, Mehendis, Nikkah and Wedding reception, takes me right up to September!
However today I got a call from one of my friends aunties (who I had met at a wedding) and she informed me about a lady.....lets call her Aunty Rishta / Aunty Cilla Black...well I was given her number and I called this afternoon and introduced myself....to which I was told...'Oh hello...would you mind calling in about 15 minutes as there is a general knowledge quiz on TV and if I could call back later......(or maybe one of them Indian drama's on Star Plus was on and dint want to be disturbed like my mum gets absorbed into them!). So I waited and called, she seemed like a nice lady and asked me questions like full name, where I live and age and then asked.....''what is your skin tone colour''....I was like excuse me!!!?? She said are you fair? Dark? I was like errmmm to be honest I don't look into the colour of someone but she said she gets a lot of people who she has previously spoken to, still do tend to ask....so again she asked 'What colour would you say you are?'' I was like erm...well I have tanned quite a bit.....but I'm not dark, the next thing I hear she says in a slow (while writing on a piece of paper) ''Sun Tanned''....I was like er...ohh...What else could I say??
So she said she will get back to me in a few days...which is fine and I sent her some photo's of myself also.....
I shall keep you all posted, and once again sorry its been ages! And I promise to post more often, I feel like I have left gaps here and there, but when things crop up I shall blog this!!!
Ooooh and another thing I am now on Instagram! Follow me on Halaalchickinthecity !!! :)
I shall leave you with this parting gift....which indeed did have me ''On the floor''.....rolling around laughing!!!!!
Tuesday, 3 June 2014
What's Love Got To Do With It.......when it comes to food that is? ;p
They say that a way to a man's heart is through his stomach......er hello? Don't us females have to eat to? And why can we not be portrayed to enjoy our food? its not like we all stand there like
The amount of times guys who I have met and say that girls they have met never eat...I'm like dude my size 8 days are well and truly over! I am comfortable with myself and happy, I think if you cannot be comfortable in your own skin, how can you expect someone else to be comfortable with you?
Magazines, Online adverts, social media focus's so much on weight and looks these days, I find it quite alarming how everything seems to be on face value. And I guess like food, if you do not like the look of something your not going to eat it. Our sight will send the signals to our brain and we are quick to decide that its not right for you and you should keep away from it.
I think its good to try at least, be adventurous, I have friends who dismiss foods without trying it, is this because we are now a fussy nation, as we now like the look of things rather then the taste?
I think this is why I am so optimistic when it comes to being set up by friends and family and not seeing pictures. Just good to be thrown in there....but I believe if you meet someone and there is something there, and you are not sure...still give it a chance.
I have been blessed to have an amazing network of friends and family, and most come in two's...the married couples. I love being around them and always feel their warmth and never feel like a gooseberry. Being around such lovely people, I see how they interact, joke, love, and annoy each other, but it is all through growth, patience and love....I know it is not something that happens over night and Inshallah (God Willing) if/when I find someone, I will make an effort......it is almost like I am re-training myself to see the bigger picture.
This year I have met quite a few guys, and to be honest I think their ego's are their own demons and have made them SO blind!! Unable to see what amazing ladies are around them. I still think guys have their pick of the bunch of ladies to choose from and I cannot see that changing.....that whole thing of looking out to see what is better, which is possible, but if they are constantly looking.....would it be better to have a love and be loved then end up being alone?
Talking about love I came across this and really hope to go to this, you guys might find it interesting too :)
http://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whatson/festivals-series/festival-of-love
I also came across this and I thought it was such a wonderful idea! When misfortunes happen to us, I think it is easy to think that we are the only person who has gone through such a thing. When we look around and speak and see peoples experiences, its like a sort of healing process which what I think this is:
http://brokenships.com/
People sent in things from previous relationships and have a story to go with it.....I am always fascinated by peoples own stories, I think my favourite ones are about ''the ones that got away'' and the ''how did you guys meet''? :)
I recently saw Maleficent recently, and it definitely confirmed my views on Disney films....that there is a reason why the female villain's where the way they where! - BROKEN HEARTS BY THE REAL VILLAIN'S->MEN!!!
I don't blame them one bit! I think they are just misunderstood ladies....creatures. ;p
(But deffo go see Maleficent I loved it!)
But going back to the subject of love....I think there are all kinds of love, and seeing and being around all forms and types of love is a blessing in itself, even if I do not have one of my own.....but there is one thing that cannot come between me and itself......My love of Food! I honestly think that Tina Turner's song was really about her love of food too......
''It may seem to you
That I'm acting confused
When you're close to me
If I tend to look dazed
I've read it someplace
I've got cause to be
There's a name for it
There's a phrase that fits
But whatever the reason
You do it for me''
I CALL THAT HUNGER RIGHT THERE!
Until next time ;)
The amount of times guys who I have met and say that girls they have met never eat...I'm like dude my size 8 days are well and truly over! I am comfortable with myself and happy, I think if you cannot be comfortable in your own skin, how can you expect someone else to be comfortable with you?
Magazines, Online adverts, social media focus's so much on weight and looks these days, I find it quite alarming how everything seems to be on face value. And I guess like food, if you do not like the look of something your not going to eat it. Our sight will send the signals to our brain and we are quick to decide that its not right for you and you should keep away from it.
I think its good to try at least, be adventurous, I have friends who dismiss foods without trying it, is this because we are now a fussy nation, as we now like the look of things rather then the taste?
I think this is why I am so optimistic when it comes to being set up by friends and family and not seeing pictures. Just good to be thrown in there....but I believe if you meet someone and there is something there, and you are not sure...still give it a chance.
I have been blessed to have an amazing network of friends and family, and most come in two's...the married couples. I love being around them and always feel their warmth and never feel like a gooseberry. Being around such lovely people, I see how they interact, joke, love, and annoy each other, but it is all through growth, patience and love....I know it is not something that happens over night and Inshallah (God Willing) if/when I find someone, I will make an effort......it is almost like I am re-training myself to see the bigger picture.
This year I have met quite a few guys, and to be honest I think their ego's are their own demons and have made them SO blind!! Unable to see what amazing ladies are around them. I still think guys have their pick of the bunch of ladies to choose from and I cannot see that changing.....that whole thing of looking out to see what is better, which is possible, but if they are constantly looking.....would it be better to have a love and be loved then end up being alone?
Talking about love I came across this and really hope to go to this, you guys might find it interesting too :)
http://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whatson/festivals-series/festival-of-love
I also came across this and I thought it was such a wonderful idea! When misfortunes happen to us, I think it is easy to think that we are the only person who has gone through such a thing. When we look around and speak and see peoples experiences, its like a sort of healing process which what I think this is:
http://brokenships.com/
People sent in things from previous relationships and have a story to go with it.....I am always fascinated by peoples own stories, I think my favourite ones are about ''the ones that got away'' and the ''how did you guys meet''? :)
I recently saw Maleficent recently, and it definitely confirmed my views on Disney films....that there is a reason why the female villain's where the way they where! - BROKEN HEARTS BY THE REAL VILLAIN'S->MEN!!!
I don't blame them one bit! I think they are just misunderstood ladies....creatures. ;p
(But deffo go see Maleficent I loved it!)
But going back to the subject of love....I think there are all kinds of love, and seeing and being around all forms and types of love is a blessing in itself, even if I do not have one of my own.....but there is one thing that cannot come between me and itself......My love of Food! I honestly think that Tina Turner's song was really about her love of food too......
''It may seem to you
That I'm acting confused
When you're close to me
If I tend to look dazed
I've read it someplace
I've got cause to be
There's a name for it
There's a phrase that fits
But whatever the reason
You do it for me''
Until next time ;)
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