Mambo Italiano....Milano!

A girl went back to ITALY
Because she missed the scenery
The native dances and the charming songs
But wait a minute, something's wrong

Hey, mambo! Mambo Italiano!
Hey, mambo! Mambo Italiano

I cannot believe that we are already at the end of October...Where has this year gone?? Looking back I can only but smile at the year that has past....The experiences, the countries I have been to and more so the people I have met...From the past, from the daily familiar, family, friends from years gone by and also the new ones I have made this year.

When you have an open heart to everything around you, you see things so much more clearer....You see the things that have no meaning to you as those things shall not benefit you in a positive manner.  You become more patient and more at ease with yourself, you find that you know your self better and are at peace with that.  You also start to notice when others have a lot less patience than you, people who become irritated by the smallest things and kick up about it. In a way that highlights negative energy, use that as a  reminder for you to be grateful that you have patience and peace within you.  Just because something did not go your way, yes you can have a moan to someone about it, but try and do it once, forget about it and move on. Rather than wasting your energy wallowing and feeling sorry for yourself and looking back, channel that energy into something else, something that will give you heart and soul a glow of joy. I think you all know I love nothing more than travelling by now...lol...So you know where I'm at with that!

 It seems these days people also have less of a tolerance for things with higher expectations. I think my latest trip highlighted this more to me.  Yes another destination :p....Allhamdulilah things have a knack of happening for me when I think of something or have an idea....I like to think things only happen for me because I always remember the people who wish me well through their kind words and prayers.  I have a manner of always remembering people and think back to what they had said to me when something good happens.  I call or message them, I think it is always important to always give thanks....I do not think things happen because of 'Luck' I like to think more of someones blessing being answered. A dear friend had said to me that ''No prayer is left unanswered...Be it a yes or a no, you are always given your answer''.

The beauty of having friends and family dotted all over the globe means you can be somewhere unfamiliar, yet with familiar company...A new sense of adventure but with comfort because you have a connection there already.

I have a dear cousin there already who was the most amazing host and just as bonkers as I am....We have the same sense of humour and I think for her also it was nice as we both found comfort in each other.  I had days of laughter and it was so good just to have a change of scenery and escape the familiar.

A heart shaped pizza at Ristorante Pizzeria Rosy e Gabriele :)

Having a Cousin in Milan meant I had my own personal tour guide, I love the idea of being in love with Italy and I have to say I am and always have been.  I had been to Rome a while back and since the my passion for Italy has always been alight.

I had known people who had already been to Milan and said that it was a city with ''Not much going on'' or nothing much to do.  If anything I think there is so much to see and do...I love people watching, I'm easily fascinated by people watching.  Its so easy to grab a little corner in a cafe watching the world go by with a gellato in tow (which I had at least twice a day).

That Rose and Pistachio from Chateau Dufan got me like ❤❤❤❤......  http://www.chateaudufan.com/index-gelateria.html

I said to my cousin ''Wow all the women here are tall and skinny'' Her reply was ''No not really they are all models that you are seeing''.

Milan is a buzzing city and I had the opportunity to go during Milan Fashion week, there was a buzz in the air, paparazzi all over the place.  The streets became an open air catwalk as hoards of photographers waited for the stylish and famous to strut by to the fashion shows.

One of my best friends was also in Milan for Fashion week and we had arranged to catch up while we where both out there.  That was also so lovely to have someone from home out there and who also knew the city well! Going back to that familiar comfort while being in a new place that I have never been to. It was a nice different to be able to be with my friend while he was busy working, it was an insight into what goes on behind the scenes of fashion week.  As I had been back stage after the fashion show, just being there and soaking up the atmosphere was an eye opener, I am not going to lie, it really did remind me of Zoolander, but in a good way :) Milan Fashion week is definitely different from London Fashion week.  You have to look more the part and make a statement, in London you can rock up as you want. In Milan I would say you have to think twice.

My invite to the Dsquared2 fashion show (hidden my name with those heels and lippy emojis! ;p)

@dsquared2 #dsquared2 #mfw #milan #fashionweek #dananddean #bellisimo

A video posted by Chat noir🐱dans Londres..... (@chat_noir_londres) on Sep 25, 2016 at 12:35pm PDT

Milan is full of life and a vibrant city that has a mellow Melody that carries you along with it as you wonder though the city streets. I very much saw that on a Saturday night in Corso Como...Walking there we went through the business district of Milan which is called 'Porta Nuova' which means 'New gate' and it reminded me a lot of Dubai when you walk through the Marina, it definitely had that kind of vibe to it.  There is a building in the heart of the city which we nick named ''The Burj Khalifa'' as you can see the tall spire where ever you are in the city. But I loved the buzz the place had in the evening, full of people all dressed up and by all means looking chic though the Piazza Gae Aulenti an area which has fountains, chic shops and restaurants....Not quite the dancing fountains in Dubai...But gave me that strong familiar reminder of it :)

The UniCerdit Tower (my cousin and I nicknamed it The Burj) in the heart of Piazza Gae Aulenti.

Corso Como had an electric feel in the air on a Saturday night, when I first walked through, the layout and buzz reminded me so much of Lincoln Road in Miami. It brought back that feeling of familiarity that I had been here before, the similarities of shops, bars and restaurants and music pumping through the warm air.....And also the fact everyone pretty much wore chic black! Another thing that reminded me of Miami nights out...Again I sat and watched the hoards of merry people walking by, casually having Italian conversations, hand gestures with laughter....It was then that I realised how much I loved Milan.

Corsa Como buzzing!

I'm just going to post more photos I took that really do not need any explanation!!!

Got to pick up a fridge magnet everywhere I go!

I spent most of the time looking up while walking through the streets of Milan. Such beautiful buildings 

The biggest green doors I have ever seen in my life!! At the beautiful Milan Cathedral

The beautiful Milan Cathedral

Inside the beautiful Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II

With Milan being a mix of old and new traditions, I wondered through China Town which is by all means bigger than the China Town we have in London.  It was interesting for me to be there as the Chinese community have a historical presence there.  The Chinese community started there from about 1920 and operated textile and leather workshops.  Being of Mauritian descendant, we have a real mix of Chinese, African, Indian and French cultures.  We also have a large China Town and I felt so connected and comfortable being there, I really felt free and at totally at ease.

Can find some real colourful things in Milan China Town!

I think the more you venture out and discover new places, things and people, your mind and thought process changes.  You start to realise just how big and beautiful the world is and you can start to feel at peace from within...Milan just confirmed my love for Italy and it is somewhere I am definitely going to head back to.....

I'm not going to lie when I took the photo below I did have tears flowing down my cheeks because I was overwhelmed by the beauty of nature and the work of the one above...It hit home how blessed and lucky I am to be able to go places solo and just do my thing....What started as a blog about my disastrous dating life has now become a blog about my journeys and discoveries......Thank you for being with me on this amazing journey :)  

Amazing views of the Italain Alps.

Timing is everything.

As you know from my previous posts I am a big believer in signs and follow my faith with my whole heart.  I think when you have an open heart and mind regardless of your personal faith and beliefs you really can see deeper into what looks ordinary to the normal eye, however this will only have a deeper meaning and connection to you only.  This is something personal to me, but I'm going to keep writing from the heart as I always do...

In December two days before Christmas I had this urge, this really strong pull and feeling inside me to go and see my Gran.  I had already just been six months previously, but I clearly said to my mum "If I don't go in March I'm going to regret it. (I have no idea to this day why I said March specifically, it was just drilled inside my head and heart and I was fixated on that Month).  Within 2 days of thinking of this, by Christmas eve I had my holiday approved and booked my ticket.  Being the Easter break I practically got the whole of March off and I even decided to book a stopover in Dubai to catch up with friends for a few days.

That being said and done my plans for 2016 where starting already.  I was so looking forward to seeing my Gran as she has turned 90 in February so it made it more of a reason to see her.  No one comes before my Gran in my eyes, my precious pearl.  When I arrived it was as it always was, I stayed with her and did her shopping for her, do her breakfast, comb her soft silver hair for her and platted it as I always did.

The second day I was there family had already nabbed me for dinner plans as while I am there I try and catch up with as many family members.  While I was with my Gran I made her choose what I should wear and out of two skirts a blue and a vibrant red one, she chose the latter.  As I was getting ready we chit chatted, she watched how I did my make-up....When I was ready I pranced around her room as I always loved just being myself with her.  She looked at me and said I looked lovely...But this time for some reason her smile and eyes told me something else....Inside I felt and realised this but did not say anything....She won't see me dressed as a bride...I don't know where that thought came from...But it did and I felt a lump in my throat.

I went up to her and took her hand and she told me one her many beautiful things....She said how she had a dream the night before I arrived. She said how we were both standing under a large blossomed mango tree, just me and her.  And in this tree where two ripe mango's.  She picked one and gave one to me...I took a bite and I had told her how I had never tasted such a sweet mango in my life... As she told me this, I felt tears form in my eyes and a lump in my throat....I was speechless and yet I knew this was a moment that had a much more deeper meaning, but could not quite know what exactly....

❤

After taking my Grandmother to hospital, I climbed the house ladder to the roof feeling a bit empty with her not being there....I took this photo.  It was not after she had passed I noticed the two mango's at the bottom...(My nan would have never seen this....Maybe she already did in her dream).

I held her hand and squeezed it and she smiled at me, shortly she fell ill after this and I was by her side....Unfortunately my dear Grandmother passed away.....In the Muslim faith we bury our loved ones as soon as possible....And with this close members of the family perform their last rites....Which I never had done, or ever thought I would do....And I did....With nothing but pure love.....It was an honour and something that shall forever stay with me....I know this is quite a personal thing,  I think it was harder because I did not have my parents or sibling with me as they were in the UK I had to be strong, but this made me stronger, it made me grow up, it made me stand up alone, I have never had someone by my side except for myself, and in a way, going through that made me realise it made me stronger...In a way tested my limits...Which I know now are limitless, the fear of something limits you, going through the fear, frees you...

Moments are gifts that you accept and cherish...I had this whole beach and Sunset to myself <3

While I was there I had met so many different types of people from all walks of life ages, religions and back rounds, be it the ladies who sit outside the Mosque for spare change, other patients in the hospital, the bus conductors, traders in the market....Everyone had a kind warming charm about them, which is something that I took back with me.

The whole experience has had a massive impact how I see things, I have taken a step back, I look closer at the smaller daily things that go around us, and when you think about it, there is beauty everywhere in every little thing.  When I commute to work, I see how everyone is on their lap tops, phones and tablets.  I have a tendency to try and capture clouds, sun rises & sunsets on my phone and sometimes I catch in the corner of my eye people wondering what I am trying to capture and then they notice I'm actually looking out of the window at the great big sky!

This has been since March, and yes it is still hard...When you lose someone so close to your heart...It does change you....My nan was everything to me...But I learnt so much more about her humble self after she passed, and it was like receiving more gifts from her when I met people I had never met before and how she spoke of me to them....Hearing so many more things like that, just put more warmth into my heart and made me realise how lucky I really am.

I took so much more back this time around without expecting it, and for me...That is the greatest gift anyone has ever given me......❤ 

6 months later into 2016 I'm posting!! lol (sorry!)

Well hello there....It has been a while indeed I know, I know....But I guess I have been busy living life and all that! ;p But I have taken things offline in general, socially, dating etc and in a way its been refreshing and eye opening.  I have put myself first and been doing what I want, when I want, mapping things out and  keeping my soul happy :)

So I guess I should summarise what I have been up to so far......

January was spent pottering around plotting and planning how I was going to make the most of this year.

February was quite busy work wise. I went away to one of my favourite places, Amsterdam (and before you all think, not for the obvious reason!).  However I love their hot chocolates and patisserie places which are full of my favourite thing of all time giant Nutella jars!! I managed to catch up with my culture vulture cousin and we explored Amsterdam in the cold winter weather which is still a beautiful city regardless the weather to be honest.  I love its laid back ness, openness and generally everything about it!  It is somewhere I could easily go a live.

Travelling has always been a soother for me, it is when I am at my happiest and mellowest, it never stresses me out and never makes me feel uneasy.  If anything it gives me the wanderlust that I seek as I have always been a curious cat in life in general.  Seeking places, things to do, history and knowledge seeking about where I am going to or have already been to.  I know being single you feel like something is missing, however when I travel it fulfils that part where there is emptiness, it brings joy, peace and tranquillity.

                                   

A M S T E R D A M

One of the many beautiful canals in Amsterdam

The good thing about living on a Island like ours, we are half hour, an hour, two hours and so on away from other locations that are so different from our little Island!  One of my 'Putting myself first' things to do, is to travel more, be it alone or not.  In fact I love travelling alone, I get to take in my surroundings and bearings and make my own decisions on what adventure I want to take myself on.

For me its letting go of the everyday work/home life routine, the worrying about dating 'Will this guy message me? Call?' Does he like me? What is this? Confusing oneself with no need Pppfhhhh!....I craved freedom, letting go, everything has already been written in the stars and what shall be for you is only for you. (Sorry I am going back to dating here) But every step you take, every mistake, every disappointment, every wrong guy met, every effort made and lost, every miss match met.....that is a step forward taking you to where you need to and should be at this present time.  Which is why I let go, stopped making an effort in searching, and focused more on me and my own happiness and well being, so I started with Amsterdam which happened to be my second visit. :)

Outside the Rijksmuseum museum

Amsterdam has cool mellow vibes when wondering around the streets in the crisp cold winter February air.  I love winter, I always have and shall always do so. I stayed at my cousins cute mini apartment, everyone makes the most of every nook and cranny space wise. While walking through the streets at night (no on seems to draw their curtains....or have any!) you can see the clever ways people have made use of space, making it more so cosy than cramp in their quaint homes. 

A pretty window in Spuistraat

Spuistraat is a lovely area with retro styled buildings and amazing, graffiti which has always been a  personal passion of mine. I guess I am like a train spotter, but a graffiti spotter and slowly recognising international artists who I have spotted in London and also recognised their work in Amsterdam!  It's amazing what hidden along the side of a building, in a doorway, uplifting messages or just images that speak volumes that you can find on the streets, a bit like life in general when you have an open heart and mind :) 

Bikes and Blues

Be like a Flamingo...PINK!

Bob Marley by one of my favourite artists C215 also on Instagram as Christianguemy go check his work out!

Look close enough and you shall find the missing pieces to your puzzle.

One Saturday my cousin and I had managed to walk 11 miles within the city, which just goes to show there are so many things to see and explore.  I love how you can wonder from one bridge to a street to another bridge and so on.  The mixture of the late night smells from the amazing bakeries, to the busy bustling bars, cafes, the beautiful uneven architecture of the buildings along the canals and the random red window lights that you walk past.  The everyday life that is somehow is entwined and connected with the city's mellow vibe.  However I feel that there is always a light hearted sense of humour that runs through the city, that adds to this vibe, laughter has always been a good remedy to banish blues away :)

Everyone needs a cake with pink feathers, swirls and of course not forgetting the luchadores (Mexican wrestlers). Spotted at Taart van m'n Tante in the Oude Pijp district - Link: http://www.detaart.com/en/home.htm

Bikes, barges and buildings

Bumper to bumper ;)

Along our wondering travels we came across the famous flower market, which had all types of  seeds, flower seeds (weed seeds) galore, but truly had some beautiful vibrant flowers and cactus plants.

I have met quite a few pricks in my time, but I have to say these little guys made me smile :)

Be a rose amongst thorns ;)

My parents have cotton on to whats app and when I'm on my travels they love to message and see photos I have taken.  One big hobby that my Mum and I have in common is SHOPPING!  It's like we egg each other on and always have excuses for buying things we love....As alway my mum asked me if I had found anything.....

Parental conversations be like....

On the Sunday we booked to go to the Van Gogh museum which was one of the highlights for me going out there for.  I have always loved and admired his work and how he portrayed his visions.  It actually took me back to my GCSE Art class memories lol....But what a joy to be able to see his work first hand.  I have to say that did not disappoint, however we did queue in the cold winter rain for about an hour and a bit!!  It was worth it once we got in, I admit it was very busy considering it was a winters day.  However even though it was very busy and at some points you do feel like you’re in a school canteen dinner queue to see the next painting, you would be lucky to be able to take photos of the paintings! Security are soooo on it! It reminded me when I went to Rome and was in the Sistine Chapel looking up at 'The creation of Adam'' Pointing my camera upwards but holding it soooo low by my knees trying to take photos, and seeing the guards kick people out for doing so! (Felt a bit thrilling like a naughty school child!) Except full of adults and everyone trying to do the same without being caught! lol.....So I have to say...THIS is the ONLY successful photo I managed to get without being caught, told off......in fact I was ALLOWED to take:

Donald Van Gogh by Wouter Tulp at the Van Gogh Museum https://www.vangoghmuseum.nl/en

So I had been thinking, rather than searching high, low, left, right, top, middle and bottom for someone, I decided to let go. I can honestly say it’s the best thing I have ever done.  Stopping, realising and taking everything I have right now, being thankful and grateful for this. Just being around my family and friends...I guess in the very words of Van Gogh himself ''I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.''  

Putting the focus on my own well being...my happiness.  Rather than looking for one person to fill a gap in my life, I decided to fill gaps with things I wanted to do and that made me happy.  I have understood, accepted and acknowledged that. Yes...I might not meet someone and I'm ok with that.  Being realistic is something we all have to face and understand.  So I am at a point where I know travel, photography, catching up with friends and family fill those empty spaces.  When you move your focus from one thing I honestly believe that everything has already been written and while you put your energies into something else, the Almighty above has woven things into your life that will appear when they are meant to.

Let's play a game, how many bikes in this Photo I took? Answers on a postcard!

It is about timing and taking everything in your stride, Amsterdam had been a taster of what I had yearned for....What I needed.  Being more spontaneous and getting up and doing things, life is not always about planning things, sometimes it is about letting things take its course and you shall see the beauty of how everything works out....I guess this leads me to my next location in which I had first-hand of this.. Mauritius, my second home, the Island that holds my heart.....

p.s - You can follow me on my instagram for more out and about photos  @Chat_noir_londres  ;)

Its like I'm on ebay and I'm waiting for the highest (Worthy) bidder to win.....ME!

As always on my morning commute to work, I had been placed in my usual situation of being stuck in a tin sardine carriage.  As I train surfed holding on to nothing but my copy of The Alchemist in my hand, some one had done the ultimate crime one can do in a confined space.....Yes they let an awful whopper of one out....This one was an unbearable stench I looked up to see if I could make eye contact with the culprit dealer, then it dawned on me.....everyone...every single person had a phone poker face.....everyone was looking down on their phones with no reaction! It made me think about invasion of own space and choosing about letting someone in your own area of space. I guess how I let guys somehow communicate with me, however I would say 95% the communication was done via Whats app....And not even a phone call here.....all written text.

To let someone to even come into my airspace and get into my little world of thoughts and character is not something I always do easily.  The more I have had interactions, the more stronger I build a forcefield and I would say this year that has been even more so in this case.  Only because I let someone in, they would get to know me, get me to open up and without a word of warning they would shoot off taking their Rocket to planet Vaginal Venus....(sorry to put it in crude terms but lets face it, it almost seems to be constantly happening).  My theory is this, they get to know me and as I am pretty much normal have my funny little banter ways, I am serious, I know what I want and that's commitment. I am a practising Muslim and have full intentions of doing things the right way as much as possibly I can.  It seems guys regardless of faith most guys I have come across want the physical side of things, almost.....to quickly which always rings alarm bells. And unfortunately for someone like me, guys are going to be distracted by the time wasting past times and getting their ''fix'' and would rather do so and invest time in those sort of relationships.

Last week I got approached by a guy who was actually married, had the audacity to say "Look Im prob not THE ONE, but still have some "fun"?.....WTF???!!! I told him he is what I call a ''Cactus'' in layman's English - A PRICK. That was an eye opener for sure and also made me feel more disappointed in my faith in MEN-Kind in general.

As a Muslim I can say I know who and exactly what I am, and I have to say I have spoken to a lot of guys who seem to struggle or have double standards of what they say, think and do. However I do believe strongly regardless of your faith as long as you have a good heart and good intentions that's a relationship that you have directly with yourself and the one above so I cannot be one to judge that....I know this.  I just don't like such things as when people who are confused try and talk to me like they are holier than thou and make me almost feel bad for just sticking to my guns....I will never ever go with someone who does not sit right with me or with anything that does not feel right to me in general.  I think the worst thing you can possibly do to someone is be let into their world, pretend to be a friend or care and then not give two shits about being let in and respecting that.  But again going back to the communication...most of this has been 95% on whats app....These guys are not around me, don't see my characteristics, see how I interact with others, how I am known by others, don't even know the sound of my laugh even....how can by the way I type, send random emojis and photos of my surroundings make them think they know me?  If anything what gives them the right to judge me and make an assumption without even spending time around me, forget hovering above my airspace via whats app in their tiny little rocket....(Yes I can judge!).  :p

What happend to going back to basics, actually spending time with someone face to face...These are some things that I had been thinking of:

• Dont send a girl flowers, turn up unexpectedly and TAKE her to a field of flowers.
• Dont send a whats app message 'hey'...write a letter, opening up a surprise with excitement always is lovely and the words can be cherished.  Each time re-reading a letter can bring a wave of flutters in the heart (screen shot convos cant bring that kind of effect).
• Don't tag someone in a instagram picture, take a picture YOU took and make it into a postcard and write some nonsense only you both would know and put it the post.  (Ok you might not have a home address but with a name there is always linkedin and finding a work address right?).
• Sing to someone....that's always good....My close loved ones love my cat wailing voice notes and no hello, but me belting into a power ballad on the phone.

It really does not take much....to make someone, anyone smile.... :)

I am still really glad I have deleted the online dating profiles.  I don't miss it one bit, with Netflix being my latest boyfriend....ebay has now become my bit on the side...And I am selling, not buying...This last part of 2015 has really taught me to let go.....let go of things that don't hold any value or relevance to me....by selling things off, this is giving me something to look forward to ahead.

Allhamduililah (Praise be to the one above) I have travelled to some amazing locations this year....And looking back I always hesitated as I always thought that I would want to travel with 'The one'...Now I'm kind of thinking with the selfish guys I have met....Why should I put my plans on hold for someone who I don't even know or know if he is worth waiting for?  I'm carrying on with my plans and my life, I'm not going to wait for a prince, shining knight in armour....I'm taking myself, my heels, my nice outfits away myself! If I am to walk this fabulous, beautiful earth alone, then so be it, I accept that whole heartedly, with the love and support I have from friends and family, one guy cannot amount to even a smidge of that! It might be like I am on ebay waiting for the highest (worthy) bidder, but until then I'm using my escape fund to take myself places! ;)

(I shall leave you with this...I have a love music in general....but also for orchestral music I guess its the dramaticness of it all...makes good strut to work music you know....(many don't know this I used to have Cello lessons in school...Dint get far)...However I love Orchestral music...and this below gets me into a power 'Me don'd care *flicks her hair* mode....Orchestral hip hop.....YASSSSS! - Not festive I know...But starting as I mean to go on in 2016.....I'M GONNA BE MAKING SOME NOISE (I might even get on the mic next time I go hip hop karaoke)!!!! - Have a wonderful festive holiday with all your loved ones.....And remember don't let anyone shit on your sparkle.

Signing out for now - A Halaal Chick In The City...xx

6000+ Wow.....Thank you, Merci, Takk, Shukraan, Danke, Terima kasih, Dhan'yavāda :) ♥

Hello there,

6000 more hits? Wow.....I am so touched, without support from those who know me, I don't think I would have been able to carry on with this blog.  More so what amazes me is the demographics of where you all are....Norway, Indonesia, Canada, US, Egypt, Germany, France, Ireland, India and many more places that surprise me when I see them on the map...It means so much to me and always makes me smile. :)

Saying this, my UK family have been telling me to write more! More often! So here I am again, and I guess with my turn around this year, I made myself stick to a mantra....my 2015 mantra:

I can thankfully say that this year I have ticked each and every one of them....I have realised that this year was not all about finding a husband, this year was more about me finding myself.  And by the grace of the one above I have been so lucky and blessed.

To be surrounded by long life friends, work friends who I consider like family, my own loving family and more so, re-connecting with old friends.  To be able to spend time with family members who live thousands of miles away. Being the chance to appreciate that time with them instead of pondering about the time alone I have.  I made it my mission to fill every gap and space of time, thought process with something loving, fun and ended up creating more happy loving memories.  There had been a few times this did not always work, but you know what? I took note of it and ensured that it would not happen again and if anything added what ever I had missed out on to my list for next year.

It always seems to be about this time of year that I think about how this year has been and the possibilities of next year....I guess a bit like Del Boy saying to Rodney from Only Fools and Horses: ''This time next year we shall be millionaires''...In my case ''This time next year I would have found someone!''.  But now I am thinking, where will I have visited by this time next year??

One thing I know is that no relationship can be boxed and I am talking from the starting process...However you meet, however you get to know one another, if you are able to spend time or not.....It comes down to having a connection with someone and seeing where it goes.  The time and effort that is put in and taking each day at a time is the key to knowing.  I think this is why I have taken myself offline, everything is focused on social media these days.  With all the apps that you can follow people on, its become quite a focal point. People judge by photos, posts, activity notifications...these are just images that are created.  This is not the person you are getting to know.  I'm quite old fashioned in the sense that if something is meant to be, it shall be.  It will be whole heartedly for you and nothing can stop it.  I believe everything is written for a purpose. When I look back in general, I have been able to help others and be there for them because I was meant to be.  If I was married had kids, I don't think I would have been able to be there, but I just happened to be and that was my destiny to be.

One thing that I am adding for my mantra is not letting opportunities go, I know I let a few slip this year and this is a big lesson that I had to learn myself and the hard way.  At the same time if an opportunity is to come I shall know that it was meant to be for me.  But if you ever get a change for whatever it is and your gut instinct tells you to go for something...just do it.  A life should not be lived with regrets, you learn from it and strive forwards.

I don't know where my journey will take me next, but knowing that I have your support and reading this brings me joy already. :)

In the mean time I am going to continue to do the things that make me happy, continue to be an idiot - for those who know me well know I never take myself seriously with my ''I woke up like this crazy hair sefies'' to my singing voice notes I hound  and bombard them with......(someone told me I like to laugh a lot.....yeah I do actually part of this years mantra!).  The key is to make yourself happy and everything else with follow.....

I've got E-Male......

Once again its been a while (When is it ever not?), however I have been a little busy by going away again and family events, weddings, birthdays and baby showers :) All good there and I cannot complain as my friends and family are my everything whole heartedly.

This year has been very good to me, I have seen many more close loved ones get married, announce babies and generally creating amazing memories along my travels....Blessed Allhamdulilah.

However that one thing still...lingers....still single! Lol, but its all good, I have learnt so much about myself. Been more assertive about my instinct and reading vibes off people, I have learnt I really can see through people, especially more so when they are trying to conceal things from me.

So this new word has cropped up, and I think it is fair to say this pretty much applies to every guy I have so far come across....F**kboy goes something like this:

- I like you
- But I'm talking to 3 others plus I have a girlfriend/wife/baby mama (cross as apply or not if you have all)
- But I like you
- Trust me
- When you coming to see me?

-_-

And the worse thing is, they seem to make an appearance when my whats app, instagram, facebook profile picture changes......

Seriously? Its like a heard of hyenas running in a pack from their smelly holes all who's numbers I had deleted and seemed to have kept my number and been profile watching!?)....this time however I don't care who or what you are, they all had chances...I let them say a few words of rubbish and with no warning block and delete their asses.  Its all about deleting them and looking ahead and just making yourself happy.

This is something that I have really been focusing on and continuing to do so.

My favourite book is Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist, if you have not read this book, please do, its amazing!

In this I have learnt that you have encounters with people who all play a purpose in your life and from this you learn more about yourself.  Looking back I cant have regrets with the encounters I have with the guys I have met.  They all played a role, filled a time and space almost for me to get ahead.  And now I realise I am at a point where I think I can see much more clearly and what exactly I am looking for.  As amusing it is to see these idiots from the past crawl out of their holes, it makes me realise what I am looking for and more so what I deserve.  These guys have no respect and looking for a quick fix, or more so came to me, went looking else where and thought they could come back to me......Nah uh! That door is closed now, no more second, third or forth chances!

I am being more hopeful and optimistic...however it has not been an easy ride....I had a ''Suitor'' (Which was far from a suitor) come to me, and what made it more difficult my parents knew about this one.  I always seem to react like a cat thrown into water in these situations and do not take to them well.

A very long story short I had hardly any information on him but somehow...I managed to trace him on facebook without knowing his name....I know....don't ask....My instincts are strong and I just know things! I scare myself at times!  However this turned out to be another big miss match (like the policeman who I had met earlier this year!).  But it is always 10 times harder when my parents seem to know about it, they go into this weird formal mode with me, like I am to be accepting to it.  A lot was said between my parents and them which we both never had brought up.  And as hard as it was to say and hear, it has made things better. It is hard seeing them getting older, wishing that I could bring them joy with grandchildren, making them proud, seeing that I have completed half of my faith....my thoughts and feelings I put through this, I could finally tell them....but it was hard and even now it is said and done, it is like a relief....I can finally go ahead on my mission to find the idiot and that I want this more than anything...I really do and I have never said it aloud, but it is what I want, and any fool that gets in my way shall not be spared! I mean business!

Saying this.....after a record 9 years on Singlemuslims and other sites........I DELETED MY PROFILE!!

Gosh that felt amazing! I saw the same old faces still active and on there (Including the bear) and it felt like I had put them all in the rubbish bin in all.  I think the worse thing about that site had been the constant ''You still on here'' messages. So NOMORE! (By all means I think people should use it, however....come one....9 years having that same profile name and written bio...its was time to realise online dating is not for me).  At least I can say 'I gave it a go once...twice....ten millions times''.......LOL.

Each day look for the adventure and value in every small thing, I have met and made friends in amazing ways.....One randomly in the Tube in France, one in Rome in the Vatican square, however we have met and they live internationally through social media we keep in contact, and I have realised that they are like minded.....like a like attracts and that is what I focus on.  These days people are always looking for better, when really they should dig a little deeper and trust their instincts in what they have already found and have. The people already in our lives are our personal treasures, once you find them don't let them go, the ones that are to come, keep them safe and value them also.

This year has been very good to me and I never thought I would have been to the places I have been and more so, met and got back in touch with so many from the past who I value as much as they value me.

Life is too short, if you think of a lost gem in your treasure chest of friendship, dig them out and say hello :) xx

Until next time....(I promise I shall not leave it as long!).

Around the way kinda girl

So! The bear made a quick return and a quick exit...Just like Gloria Gaynor's song lyrics ''The bear came back from outer space, with the same negative face'' a whole year on....So that door is well and truly locked, padlocked, bolted, triple double bolted throw the padlock keys and door keys into that big round pit that is in that 300 film!

*deep breath and sigh*

So towards that week (last week to be exact) I get a phone call from another Aunty Rishta (match maker Aunty).  It has been a while since I had spoken to this particular Aunty, however she first said that I had forgotten her, then to which I filled in the blanks of the events in the last few months of my year (going back to the home land, Ramadaan, Weddings, family etc).

This Aunty then cuts to the chase of why she is calling (which I like and I kinda expected there was a reason why she called!)....She mentions that a guy has just come to see her and that he is nice looking and 38, he is from the mother land and looking to find someone here in the UK to settle as his mother and brother live here already...After the dead end week I had with the bear I am at a point where anything goes.  Aunty asked if I was free any time soon as this fella was going back to the mother land in a few days....Me being me, I had catch up dinners left right and centre...although I then thought I might as well be more proactive than ever, I don't have time to waste any more! So I informed Aunty that I could squidge a meeting with this fella in-between me finishing work and heading out to meet friends for dinner. So Aunty sounding excited and pleased with her lead said she would forward my number to this guy and take it from there.

Later that evening I got a polite text informing of who he was and that Aunty Rishta had given my number. To the point he asked if I wanted to meet, to which I was to the point I informed time and place also which would be 3:45pm by Kings cross station, done deal!

So the next day I was busy at work and not even though into meeting this fella until I saw my phone ping with a message dead on 3pm...''Am here and just walking around, where bouts shall I meet you?'' To which I replied exactly where...I then got an immediate response of: ''Ok am blue jeans, white and blue shirt, light brown shoe, kaki jacket (his spelling not mine), black armani bag''....My reaction was that inside I already knew that this one was going to be a No, No....No backing out now...just had to have a glimmer of little tiny hope.....and grin and bear with it......

So when I got to the agreed meeting point, I called...it was easier and well faster....He then picked up and said where are you? Oh I think I see and then described what I was wearing...''Dammit!''... why could he see me first and I could not see him for sheeeeet despite his crime watch attire description?!? So the fact he already spotted me was awkward..as I just stood there twiddling with my hair trying to act 'normal' and not being rude by looking at my phone I had to style it out by looking interested in what was going around me at the same time tying to spot this fella.....

Eventually I spot him...looking straight at me....I cringe inside.....and instantly know its a no.no.....I know Aunty Rishta said he was good looking...but without sounding like a bow bag....I just saw this Derek Zoolander /  Simon Cowell tuft hair do....and then the big moon face and everything else......I thought well cant be rude now and thought to myself to go for a super quick coffee and exit, at least I could go back and said I had a little chat with him....

While in the queue awkwardly I look at the menu not quite sure how to handle this one, when suddenly he whips out his phone and shows me a photo on his phone of a little toddler...He then goes ''This is my niece''....Me: ''Oh ok?'' to which he then adds ''Yes you see the dress on her....I bought that from here in England and sent it to my brother''....Me:''Oh ok....cute'' *Queue big eye emoji*

Then we get a drink and sit....As I sit I wonder how long am I going to be held captive....He immediately starts to talk about himself, how he works for the Governmental police force back in the mother land and is deployed all over Europe (yes he has a very good job, but still....).  He talks about how he recently came back from Switzerland and that he has a friend there who has two glider planes...Me: ''Ooh that's nice''....He then continues and again whips out his phone and shows me a photo of  inside the plane clearly on the ground...''This is the plane on the ground'' Me: ''Oh ok''....He then shows me a photo of the plane with a birds eye view of the ground...Him: ''This is when I was in the air''...Me:''Oh ok''....then he goes on to say how he was in Switzerland for work, how he has met many other officials from other countries...'bang on time I'm like''Oh ok''...then he rummages through his wallet and then pulls out his Police badge, Army ID, and Government pass and tells me that it access's him to all areas...(in my mind I'm like not with me!!) He aligns his passes in a line directly to my so that they are on my very edge and side of my table and had laid each one, one by one like playing cards....He then says to me ''You know when I marry I shall still think that me and my wife will still go out, even once we have kids..'' He then rummages in his wallet again, this time with one eye brow raised, (causing his Simon Cowell tuft hair to rise higher) with a SMIRK to himself looking really pleased with himself....he says ''I showed your whats app photo to my mother, and I said to her, ''If she likes to dress modern I am MORE thank ok with that....I then drink my frappachino looking down *big eye emoji* not knowing what to say....I cant exactly say ''Oh ok'' I think I have now used my years supply of ''Oh ok responses''....After saying this he then whips out his Business card, and points out his email address, his mobile number and tells me that his whats app number and also has his land lines, and then put another card in front of me and says that is his brothers AND his business...a house repair business back in the mother land....he then says if I ever need house repairs in the mother land to well use that card to make contact...Me:  ''Oh ok''...At this point I cant....I cant take any more of this and I say , ''listen I have to go as I have a dinner date to get with friends...(no lie but was like 3 hours till then!!).

He was like sure no problem, maybe we can chat for a bit more on whats app or phone and you can let me know what you think? Me: *big emoji eyes* I said my goodbyes and waiting till he was out of view and got on the phone to Aunty Rishta...she sounded excited....I said to her that he looked a LOT older than 38 which he did and she sounded SO surprised!! As she thought he dint look it....Well I did!...I said that I dint want to waste his time and I hoped that she would tell him this as its not fair dragging any of this...she sounded a bit gutted by her miss match but I thanked her for thinking of me and wanted to help....However I am not sure if she did call, as Simon still messaged to which I had to compose a polite dumping text.....

However with this experience I have learnt to be cut throat, no dilly dallying, which is what I seemed to have been doing previously. I like this proactive and straight yes or no...after all these years I really know who and what I am about....I really do miss companionship...having that one person you can chat shit to, have intelligent conversations, have comfortable silences with, the one you want to share something first with them above anyone else, just someone I can turn to......I am trying letting go, stop making excuses of getting to know someone, seeing beyond..and going with my gut instinct....I really don't care where on this planet he is......end of the day where ever he is, he will be my home, my comfort, my everything......and I guess I will always be a around the way kinda girl....plonk me anywhere and I will get on with it!.......(Oh, ok). ;p