Hello!
Well I have to say time is flying by once again! And it seemed with January everyone at work said they were doing 'dry January with booze and unhealthy foods'.....I however seemed to have lost my dating mojo naturally and went along with the dry January theme in dating terms.....
My activity has been of zero effort, I guess part of me has kinda ''given up'' January blues probably kicked in too....we are all human and have our ups and downs. But as always I am so so grateful and blessed for everyone I have in my life and not a day goes by that I am thankful.
Its just hard seeing my parents getting older, knowing that they are worrying about me. Its hard knowing this and being strong and hiding my worries about them and vice versa. I think my thankfulness to The One above for each day keeps me going, seeing the beauty in every little thing that comes my way each day. And its those very little beautiful things keep me going....like seeing a school girl helping this old lady get off the bus with her heavy bags....its was not so much the girl lifting the bags unexpectedly by the girl, but it was seeing the glowing smile afterwards on the old ladies face which the school girl dint see as she turned her back and walked away...however I saw that...and her beautiful smile touched my heart.
I think what's been getting me down is thinking of the long list of Mr's I have met and thinking why and what made things wrong....as hard as it is...time is getting on and feel I'm hitting a brick wall each time....however ...enough of my sour puss woeful thoughts!!! Plus I am noticing that guys past the 30 mark seem to have ''Mr Big'' syndrome..( think sex in the city Mr Big)...This is what we call the emotionally unavailable male.....Alpha male, likes to be in control, hates the idea of commitment, likes the idea of being able to shop around up to the age of 45-50.
I have to say the Mr Big's of this world are truly an enigma to me....I mean do they think they are immortal? I am certain they are so set in their ways that they may find it hard to make a change and commitment in the first place. So apart from growing old...what else changes??
Aunty Cilla!!! I love her.... I really do and I am still yet to meet her!!! She called me up and as always was so loving and sweet asking how have I been keeping, informing me that she has been busy out and about doing various things.....one thing about her, she is always out when I call her, and she always has a habit of speaking to other people when I am on the phone to her. She has this warm affectionate friendly aura about her and she has this will....this willingness to always help others around her. Which made me think that I never really knew what her situation was....So during dry January I called her and was near her area and said that I would love to see her and have a catch up, to which she said in a bunged up voice that she had the flu and that her place was awfully messy with lots of papers around....to which I seemed a bit bemused....she then said that she was busy writing poetry...and this made me more curious and wonder about her..what was she all about? I sensed that she seemed down....and then she said that how she wanted and hopes I do find someone...and that she would love to meet me when she was better and tell me about her....it was like she knew what I was thinking.....she then elaborated that she was once married....20 years ago and her husband left her....she did not go into details, but her just saying that I sensed and heard the sadness, loneliness and pain all at once in her voice....and it made me sad....I knew there was something about her, she carried on saying how in the 20 years she has searched and searched and is still searching for love....''everyone deserves someone to love'' her exact words....I really felt for her when she said that...there is me moping about how this search is taking ages, and then there is her.....Aunty Cilla who is doing her all to set up single people while she herself has been waiting in vain all this time.....I wanted to give her a really big hug there and then....Inshallah (god willingly) I will do soon when I arrange to see her and know her story.....
So a few days after this conversation I had on the phone with Aunty Cilla she called me with a guy who is 37, from North west London (No not Lord earl of Collindale!) . I asked if she had a photo of him, but being a typical non tech savvy mobile user, she said that the phone memory was full on her mobile and would not allow her to send or receive photos and then she said that she wanted to meet me and show me in person.
I said well I trusted her and said that I was happy for her to pass my number as she had seen his photo after all!! So she said that she would speak to him and pass my number to him.....
A day later which happened to be a lazy Sunday....I wake up and stirr and stretched like a cat as I do and as I stretch I reach under my pillow for my phone which I am sure every single one of us does!! And I see a text message...its was from the guy who Aunty Cilla mentioned.....He introduced himself....And then I saw his attached picture and I was a bit disturbed......I have seen a lot of selfie's in my life....but this one took the.....well...I am not one for posting peoples faces on my blog or naming and shaming in real life (hence all the nick names lol)...but I shall show you a Crime watch drawing kinda thingy of his eyes......
So I made sure even if it was in work hours to call Aunty Cilla asap.....She asked me if Mr Crazy eyes had texted and if we had spoken....I said...well he sent me his picture...and I kind of went quiet, and she said what did I think, I said ''Well sorry...sorry but its a no''.....This time Aunty Cilla went silent....And I said ''Hello?''...Then she said, ''You sure?.....why don't you meet him for a coffee as some people can look better in person than their photo??''......I said ''Erm no...I'm not attracted to him''....then I said that he called me this morning also so early.....then she asked me again if I was sure to which I said 'Yes'..laughing a little this time...Then she asked me what photo did he send, if it was of him with a friend, to which I said ''No'' and she sounded surprised.....and had a tone of ''What has he done/sent her'' kind of reaction also. She then said if I could send her the photo he had sent to see what I meant!!....She asked again if I was sure, I said ''YESSSS'' and she then said..''ok...so you dint like his face''....and then she giggled!!...She is a character I tell you, but she understood that some sort of attraction had to be there.
Saying that Aunty Cilla said she would do the whole ''She does not want to pursue'' speech for me thankfully!..Aunty Cilla then mentioned another guy....(I held my breath at this point). However this was through his mum.....This guy's mum is Canadian.....No she is from Ghana, no Grenada...No Canada....No Ghana....(we had a minute of rotating the three places until Aunty Cilla said finally Grenada!)....And then said but she was not sure if the dad was Pakistani or not.....lol....lord!! But apparently this guy is 34 a Solicitor in the city and Aunty Cilla mentioned ''Well his mum is a nice looking lady so he should be a nice looking boy for you''. *Face palm moment*
Bless Aunty Cilla, I have to say she does bring colour into my life and I genuinely cant wait to meet her which I hope is soon! :)
Tis upon the week of Valentines....and as always sticking to tradtion (not that I am bitter of never ever having a Valentines in my life)..... I'm sticking two fingers (both hands) up to it and strutting away in my high heels to this....Until next time.......Signing out Halaal Chick In The City ;p
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