''Let not the sands of time get in your lunch''. ~Tony Hendra

Bonjour!!!

Tis been a bit init?  Well April has been a busy one for sure, I had a little get away and time out for myself which was amazing! We all need a bit of change of location in order to get a better perspective of things, even if you are unable to get off this Island (UK) there are so many places within that can make it feel like you are abroad...(What you waiting for? GO!!)...I ended up in the South of France, which I totally fell in love with.

One thing that I did not expect to hit me, was the fact that it was so chilled out, laid back and ever so friendly not to mention the stunning scenery! However what more struck me was the fact during the week as I sat alone on beach one afternoon I saw a lot of families also chilling out, both parents plus kids...just hanging out.  As I sat there gazing into the French Riviera....shit....I was feeling broody!  I have to say I have cousins with plenty of children who I love and adore but it was not until that point it really hit me, Id so love to have a mini me of my own....I was a bit taken aback at the thought of this as I never really sat and thought about it. As I sat on the sandy beach....did it finally hit me that the sands of time where ticking away?

Upon my return, as always I had to go into full swing wedding mode as my beautiful baby cousin was to be getting married.  So as always dashing between work, home and all over east London throughout the week and weekend...I was pretty much all over the show.  During my all over the show week, I was in my local supermarket, and I heard two familiar voices.  I turned around and saw that it was my primary school friend's parents....I finished up with my shopping and approached them....its had been a year since I had seen them.  See the thing is.....I had not seen them since my friend had passed away.. and when I saw them I did feel guilty......I greeted both of them with big tight hugs....I dint expect to bump into them and it brought a whole bag of mixed emotions....As always they where smiley and greeted me with such love and warmth.....from that point onwards with all my might I had to contain and restrain myself from shedding a tear in front of them as I could feel myself wanting to burst. As I asked how they where, it struck me how amazing they truly are and still how they speak of my dear friend.....The unconditional love parents have for their children....it touched me so deeply.  Their strength was what touched me the most, my friend was a few months older than me and had everything going for him.  What pained me the most, he was meant to be getting married last year in the summer.  However mash'Allah he did manage to get married and have that wish fulfilled. Seeing my friends parents made me think a lot....we take advantage of time, we never know what is around the corner. It made me think of my own parents, and their worries for me, how ever never really speak about it and things are brushed under the carpet, but its like their worries and concerns are there just not spoken about. I came across an article on the Huffimgton Post...about a guy called Shalin...(I don't want this post to be about sadness....just about seize the day, when we think we have it bad, always try and see the good that the day had brought).  All I shall say, is his quote had me at this:

''Shalin Shah's Last Wish Is That People Treasure Life And See All The Sunsets''

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/12/shalin-shah-sunsets_n_7265846.html

I read his story, and with the past week with my emotions running high and all over the place reading his story made me wish people where more fearless and free.  I think in this day and age everyone is so cautious and not willing to let go to embrace their true feelings and thoughts.  I think this is why I have always had the attitude to never give up, to never have ''what if's''....I guess I also live by ''If you don't ask, you don't get'' attitude. But this has also lead me to believe to make your own happiness each day, be it the smallest thing like treating yourself in any small way you can...each day.  I take comfort in the fact that I can make myself happy, and that I can enjoy my own company.  Thinking about it, if I am to wonder this planet alone, I can see it and accept that fact.

Enough of my waffling about all this...(Wish I did have a hot waffle though, with ice cream too!).

I balled my eyes out.......

Who needs a hero?? Be your Own!!!

Well it is mid March already?  I have to say I have been keeping a bit of a low profile online and offline.....Sometimes you just need to switch off a bit from the outside world and have proper ''You'' time and think where you where you want to go and where you need to be.

It is true to say that as you get older you notice things that you never realised had changed before your eyes....like parents...Masha'Allah (which means the present perfect of God's will ) I am lucky to have the great parents I have been blessed with.  

Masha'Allah they are celebrating their 40th Ruby Wedding Anniversary :)  Seeing how they worked all hours that they could, juggle with childcare and their work...to the family fun holidays they gave us....always fills me with pride and love.....Seeing how they both do little things for each other without saying a word....that itself is a blessing.....If I am ever lucky enough in my lifetime to have an inch of what my parents share over 40 years with that special person, I would truly say I would be forever thankful and blessed to the one above.  

Another close family wedding is upon the horizon, and I am maid of honour...t will be a pleasure, but I think jokes aside of being like that chick from that film ''27 dresses''...This one might be a little bit harder for me.....It's a wedding where I literally shall be the last one left who is not married in the family.....And as being maid of honour it does throw me into the limelight in my head, for all the wrong reasons.....I feel like a bit like ''The last Unicorn''....I know Magic Unicorns are so tres chic at the moment, but I's talking about my favourite childhood VHS tape I had as a child in the 80's (which Mia Farrow was the voice of the last Unicorn - cant get more chic then that eh??!).  Looking back it was quite a deep story, the last Unicorn who fell in love, and ended up having to sacrificing her love for the sake of keeping the rest of the Unicorns alive.....Sounds a bit crazy to be writing about unicorns on my blog, but I guess the moral is ''Tis better to have loved and lost: Than never to have loved at all'' kinda thing...(But the whole thing is on youtube  if anyone wants to check it out!) ;p

However, it is well known that I am not a wall flower, camera shy or any of that....I think being on my own for so long has made me independent and I accept I have to stand alone and face on my issues myself...I take comfort in the fact that I can hold things down and sort things, by myself.....Yes there are times when I just want to be scooped up in a big hunky hairy armed bear hug and let out a big exhale.....or when putting on that dress and that bit when you are trying to extend your arms and hands to pull that zip up to the top but always end up fighting yourself....those are times I long for the companionship or just having someone there to be a non stop chatter box, to the comfortable silences, to the random laughter and also seriousness.....its only natural to want all that...But I have to be realistic and what I have learnt and accepted.....sometimes you just have to be your own hero....I always loved She-Ra (I'm showing my age here) Looking back I had her (rather foxy) doll and horse Swiftwind, but you know what..even She-Ra held her own down! 

I think from an early age I had always balled out like a boss....recently looking back at some old photos, I pretty much did! Please see below as an example....I have more but I shall not make this a ''Show and tell' blog. But yeah I dint give a crap....I am pretty much still like that now....What you see and ask is what you get with me....I don't know if my honesty has made guys think twice or what ever...I know must of been judged....But I think I am at a point I don't give a monkeys.....(as you can see....).

I just think the main thing as long as you are happy and can make yourself happy is all that counts.  Recently I bought a pair of heels that I LOVE, and its definitely the smaller blessings in life that make you realise how lucky we are to have each day.

Jeez....I just had a thought....I have not been ON a proper date since last year September????!!!! Well...I am on a break from online and seeing what the real world has to offer....?? I just have to carry on and keep looking ahead.  Do the things that make you happy and smile....like my dear Dad said to me about a month ago.....''Smile and the whole world will smile with you'' :)

I know its a bit of a short blog, however until the next post, be that happy shiny, magical Unicorn and strut yo stuff! ;) 

Dry January, Feeble February....

Hello!

Well I have to say time is flying by once again! And it seemed with January everyone at work said they were doing 'dry January with booze and unhealthy foods'.....I however seemed to have lost my dating mojo naturally and went along with the dry January theme in dating terms.....

My activity has been of zero effort, I guess part of me has kinda ''given up'' January blues probably kicked in too....we are all human and have our ups and downs.  But as always I am so so grateful and blessed for everyone I have in my life and not a day goes by that I am thankful.

Its just hard seeing my parents getting older, knowing that they are worrying about me.  Its hard knowing this and being strong and hiding my worries about them and vice versa.  I think my thankfulness to The One above for each day keeps me going, seeing the beauty in every little thing that comes my way each day.  And its those very little beautiful things keep me going....like seeing a school girl helping this old lady get off the bus with her heavy bags....its was not so much the girl lifting the bags unexpectedly by the girl, but it was seeing the glowing smile afterwards on the old ladies face which the school girl dint see as she turned her back and walked away...however I saw that...and her beautiful smile touched my heart.

I think what's been getting me down is thinking of the long list of Mr's I have met and thinking why and what made things wrong....as hard as it is...time is getting on and  feel I'm hitting a brick wall each time....however ...enough of my sour puss woeful thoughts!!!  Plus I am noticing that guys past the 30 mark seem to have ''Mr Big'' syndrome..( think sex in the city Mr Big)...This is what we call the emotionally unavailable male.....Alpha male, likes to be in control, hates the idea of commitment, likes the idea of being able to shop around up to the age of 45-50.

I have to say the Mr Big's of this world are truly an enigma to me....I mean do they think they are immortal? I am certain they are so set in their ways that they may find it hard to make a change and commitment in the first place.  So apart from growing old...what else changes??

Aunty Cilla!!! I love her.... I really do and I am still yet to meet her!!!  She called me up and as always was so loving and sweet asking how have I been keeping, informing me that she has been busy out and about doing various things.....one thing about her, she is always out when I call her, and she always has a habit of speaking to other people when I am on the phone to her.  She has this warm affectionate friendly aura about her and she has this will....this willingness to always help others around her. Which made me think that I never really knew what her situation was....So during dry January I called her and was near her area and said that I would love to see her and have a catch up, to which she said in a bunged up voice that she had the flu and that her place was awfully messy with lots of papers around....to which I seemed a bit bemused....she then said that she was busy writing poetry...and this made me more curious and wonder about her..what was she all about?  I sensed that she seemed down....and then she said that how she wanted and hopes I do find someone...and that she would love to meet me when she was better and tell me about her....it was like she knew what I was thinking.....she then elaborated that she was once married....20 years ago and her husband left her....she did not go into details, but her just saying that I sensed and heard the sadness, loneliness and pain all at once in her voice....and it made me sad....I knew there was something about her, she carried on saying how in the 20 years she has searched and searched and is still searching for love....''everyone deserves someone to love'' her exact words....I really felt for her when she said that...there is me moping about how this search is taking ages, and then there is her.....Aunty Cilla who is doing her all to set up single people while she herself has been waiting in vain all this time.....I wanted to give her a really big hug there and then....Inshallah (god willingly) I will do soon when I arrange to see her and know her story.....

So a few days after this conversation I had on the phone with Aunty Cilla she called me with a guy who is 37, from North west London (No not Lord earl of Collindale!) . I asked if she had a photo of him, but being a typical non tech savvy mobile user, she said that the phone memory was full on her mobile and would not allow her to send or receive photos and then she said that she wanted to meet me and show me in person.

I said well I trusted her and said that I was happy for her to pass my number as she had seen his photo after all!! So she said that she would speak to him and pass my number to him.....

A day later which happened to be a lazy Sunday....I wake up and stirr and stretched like a cat as I do and as I stretch I reach under my pillow for my phone which I am sure every single one of us does!! And I see a text message...its was from the guy who Aunty Cilla mentioned.....He introduced himself....And then I saw his attached picture and I was a bit disturbed......I have seen a lot of selfie's in my life....but this one took the.....well...I am not one for posting peoples faces on my blog or naming and shaming in real life (hence all the nick names lol)...but I shall show you a Crime watch drawing kinda thingy of his eyes......

:O  <--- That was literally my morning facial reaction....I was speechless...it was a mega weird close up selfie and I was taken aback......I dint know what to do so I dint reply....clearly no attraction there!! I had to pop out that day and I thought to myself as soon as I get a chance I would call Aunty Cilla....I was not able to speak to Aunty Cilla that very day....however the next morning at 7:36AM I get a missed call from Mr Crazy look in his eyes.....and it kinda freaked me out......strange time to have a first conversation with someone right??!

So I made sure even if it was in work hours to call Aunty Cilla asap.....She asked me if Mr Crazy eyes had texted and if we had spoken....I said...well he sent me his picture...and I kind of went quiet, and she said what did I think, I said ''Well sorry...sorry but its a no''.....This time Aunty Cilla went silent....And I said ''Hello?''...Then she said, ''You sure?.....why don't you meet him for a coffee as some people can look better in person than their photo??''......I said ''Erm no...I'm not attracted to him''....then I said that he called me this morning also so early.....then she asked me again if I was sure to which I said 'Yes'..laughing a little this time...Then she asked me what photo did he send, if it was of him with a friend, to which I said ''No'' and she sounded surprised.....and had a tone of ''What has he done/sent her'' kind of reaction also. She then said if I could send her the photo he had sent to see what I meant!!....She asked again if I was sure, I said ''YESSSS'' and she then said..''ok...so you dint like his face''....and then she giggled!!...She is a character I tell you, but she understood that some sort of attraction had to be there.

Saying that Aunty Cilla said she would do the whole ''She does not want to pursue'' speech for me thankfully!..Aunty Cilla then mentioned another guy....(I held my breath at this point).  However this was through his mum.....This guy's mum is Canadian.....No she is from Ghana, no Grenada...No Canada....No Ghana....(we had a minute of rotating the three places until Aunty Cilla said finally Grenada!)....And then said but she was not sure if the dad was Pakistani or not.....lol....lord!! But apparently this guy is 34 a Solicitor in the city and Aunty Cilla mentioned ''Well his mum is a nice looking lady so he should be a nice looking boy for you''. *Face palm moment*

Bless Aunty Cilla, I have to say she does bring colour into my life and I genuinely cant wait to meet her which I hope is soon! :)

Tis upon the week of Valentines....and as always sticking to tradtion (not that I am bitter of never ever having a Valentines in my life)..... I'm sticking two fingers (both hands) up to it and strutting away in my high heels to this....Until next time.......Signing out Halaal Chick In The City ;p

2014 The year of the Jive Turkey.....2015 The year of the Peacock ;)

The year is coming to it's end and 12 months on my quest has lead me no further than how I first started....I have to be honest, I do feel deflated...endless encounters, brick walls and dead ends...the life of spinsterhood looks like it is coming closer and closer....

Looking back at my bend over backward efforts (such as in the post Gone Fishing - http://halaalchickinthecity.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/gone-fishing_19.html) I do have to pat myself on the back for trying at least hey?

I'm in my early thirties and looking around its seems things are not as easy as they seemed in my 20's.  Looking at a lot of guys that I have met and know who are in their early to mid thirties its seems that guys/bachelors are very much care free and clinching on to their hay days of their 20's.  The difference with those guys I guess they know that they have no age limit when it comes to finding someone as they are established within their careers and comfortable and can take their pick.  Looking at girls....I mean females, who are in their early to mid 20's they know exactly what they want and I guess established guys who are at that required level of comfort appear to be in their early to mid 30's.  Some may agree or disagree with this, but this is just my observation of things.  One guy I know who is just past his mid 30's said its always better to have a girl who is in her early 20's as she is easily 'moulded'....good luck mate! That's all I'm saying on that!!  My friend and I came up with a name for these 30 something bachelors stuck in their ways (thirty-Fookers).....

Which leads me to think, have I missed something here, am I 10 years behind in my thinking, should I have been more savvy and aimed for someone 10 years my senior all this time or do I now have to cut to the chase and start looking for a sugar daddy???!! :O

While at work being the end of year office banter including new years resolutions for all of us, mine was ''By June to have my office lot invited to MY wedding'' I'm like you having a laugh by JUNE? 6 MONTHS??? Best joke ever this year that!  Then last week at a family dinner, I was speaking to a cousin who asked me how the dating is going, to which I asked him how is his job hunting going (he just graduated from uni).  To which he then said, how about a bet....if he gets a job before I find someone I treat him to dinner, however if I find someone before he gets a job he treats ME to dinner.....and we shook on this and I said ''Whats the deadline?'' He then said ''June''??!!! I screehed saying JUNE? WHY JUNE? That's 6 MONTHS AWAY??!'' I then said ''Noooooo September!'' WTH?!!

In this WHOLE YEAR nothing has materialised...how the heck will anything happen in 6 MONTHS???!...No pressure then!!?

I am actually at a blank page moment in all this now, I have pretty much covered everything, Facebook, Twitter, Tinder,(now deleted after like 2 weeks), Speed dating, Blind dating, online dating, Meet up app, Meetings at weddings, Traditional tea meetings in my home, Being pushed into someones living room unknowingly to say Salaam/Hello with no warning what so ever, random encounters, through friends, through cousins, meeting through Aunty's....have I missed anything??

I think I am going to start like this.....with nothing, with doing absolutely nothing....let's see where that gets me....I think that's a good start to the new year.

Wishing you all a joyous and prosperous new year!!!!

- A Halaal Chick In The City ;)

Wow-ember??!!!

Seriously where has time gone??! I know its November but I can still remember the start of this year!

I have to start by saying, I get direct messages on my twitter account and I have to say I am so humbled and greatful for the support and kind words.  It reassures me and encourages me to write more....more so from the heart :) So this is me saying to you....A BIG thank you :) <3

• As we are in November here are some movements that are happing this month:
• No Shave November (Ladies you know them no shaving legs flex is added heat/warm protection in winter!!! ;p )
• Movember
• National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo)
• In Old English November was ‘Windmonath’ (wind month) or ‘Blotmonath’ (blood or sacrifice month).
• The name ‘November’ comes from the Latin for nine (novem), as it was the ninth month of the Roman calendar.
• The Dutch called it ‘slachtmaand’ (slaughter month); in Welsh it is ‘Tachwedd’, also meaning ‘slaughter’ referring to the killing of animals.
• Also the month of every year I reflect on the past year gone, as I realise the end of the current year is on the horizon.... And start to have that Del Boy quote moment "This time next year I"ll be........???!!! (A year closer to spinsterhood! This has now been my tradition for many a year now).

Anyhooo.....Looking back at the year gone by, one thing is for sure I have met so many amazing people, family and friends who I have not seen in years.  :) Also not to mention the new friends I have picked up along the way :) And how could I forget the stars of my blogs....All the encounters with Mr not quite right(s)! I have to say there are a few on this list I have not blogged about!!!

• Mr (West London) 
• Mr (East London) 
• Cindafella
• The Fireman
• The Bear (I have never mentioned The Bear until now...I shall come back to this one). 
• Mr Mayfair -An international business guy who was a globe trotter who would contact me at unearthly hours due to his random travel locations and had crazy small minded views and had to always be right! And just drove me up the wall with his views and arguments as I don't agree with him!
• Mr Twit-er (A guy messaged me on twitter, and we got charting and low and behold...turned out to be married).
• Mr Super Nice (A super duper nice guy, not blogged about this one as I got introduced akwardly to him in the motherland by my cousin, and well bless him....he was sweet....and a tad stuck in the 1980's in the sense of everything Bollywood....hard to explain but I get it lol)
• Mr Brazil (No he was not brazilian just we went opposite sides of the earth at the same time and his location earned him his nickname and it was the only way my friends would remember him by....lol......A really nice guy I met a few times...before we each went on our travels.....when I went to the motherland he went to Brazil and it seemed being further away half way across the planet we communicated more than ever and kept in touch a lot, however back in blighty we met up again and something in the what's app communication connection had gone not only on what's app....but in person too......And suddenly....."Pouff" he Dissapeared!
• Congratulations
• Lord North West Colindale of London

The Bear:

The reason for this name....out of all the guys I have met...he's a big giant muscly hunky bear with beard and everything...*hmmmmmmm*.....mind you including  he had the moodyness of a big bear too! He was from one of these sites, but last two years or so messaged me on and off and went aloof....until this year....He messaged me "Let's just meet up"....To which I was like OK! So we met up for some chai, he was ever so charming, well spoken and for a first he mentioned his mum straight off......He said she knew one of my family members which took me more by surprise....1.He mentioned me to his mum? 2.He knew of my family!? Green ticks right?? Anyhooo for a first meeting it was really chilled casual and nice :)
So we got chatting and met up quite a bit and from what it seemed to me he was interested....There where times I had been out with my girlfriends and he messaged asking what was I up to and when I said I was out and about in London....low and behold he would hurry from where ever he was and join us....which ment my friends met him and also thought he was really nice got on with him and liked him.  One thing I liked, The bear was a complete gent around me, and really respectful....Once we met up and he was so fidgety to the point he was sitting on his hands and I swear he had this really weird look like a deer caught in headlights kinda look.....I think he picked up on my confused/amused/what is wrong with you today look? But each time we hung out the Convo flowed and he was a laugh to be around....but that weird caught in the headlights moment...What was that all about?...I half kinda knew....but he knew I noticed his odd behaviour.....He messaged me...he said when he is with me, he would prob make a move but then look at me and say I looked sooooo innocent and felt so bad for even trying to......lol.....I just found it amusing how lil 5ft"3 me can make a big 5"11 bear (who's a bouncer at times at one of London's  biggest busiest clubs also) have a scared look on his face....lol......To which I then said...."OK what's going on here"...The bear then said "If someone was to ask me would I marry you tomorrow, I would say 'No'....But then again who's to say that could change? I was like "huh?".....See the thing with the bear, he was giving mixed messages, away from me would be so flirty and dead cheeky....and in person a complete gent.....??!!
Either way we hung out a lot and he never laid a finger on me, which I liked....He knew I'm not that type of girl to mess around with. Even while his cheeky messages carried on...I let it slide as in person he was a total gent....I even made him my famous biscuits that I always get hounded for....He said he "liked" them squinting as he tried one...(I knew he loved them but he din't want to admit it.....everyone loves my biscuits ;p).......However his Mum and brothers "loved" them....(course I was thinking I must be in there if his mum and brothers liked my baking skills without even meeting them - Yep TYPICAL female way of thinking I know lol!).  However on the other side of things, he would get on a downer...and I am quite a positive person, and more than anything I will always be a friend first to anyone I am getting to know. He moaned about work and home life, and I was encouraging, understanding and supportive as much as I possibly could..I'm quite patient...But over the weeks it started to get me down....and more so his negativity drained me.......I never got a thanks or the smallest appreciation for my help and advice, time....friendship even.....And it seemed so one sided....more about him....He became distant and cold......
Eventually I left the moody bear to it in his cave....I got a lot of hot and cold mix signals from The Bear to the point I just left alone and he did too...To which after he said Not being ready etc", he was still very much active on the dating sites....hmmmm.....*raises an eyebrow*.....oh well.....If anything it just assured me that I'm sure of myself and really comfortable of how I am and what I am.....As the year is coming to an end.....I am just greatful for each new day.  His loss and he won't be getting non of ma biscuits anymore either ;p

One of my favourite books is The Alchemist....and with each new day we are all given the chance....Tomorrow someone can walk out of your life forever.....However tomorrow someone could walk into your life and end up staying forever......

P.s Apologies for spelling and grammer.....its silly o clock and I shall Bid you good night ;)

Evolution of dating......

Hello!!

I know it has been a while, as the winter nights are drawing in, I have been compelled to the cosy Onsie and weekends by the lampshade snuggling up to the new love of my life.....and still keeps me up till late and keeps my mind ticking........yes his name is Netflix!!! ;p

Besides being busy with family, work and just everyday life and watching series 1&2 of Twin Peaks, I had met two more characters to add to my nickname list.....The first being another from an Online dating site, after nearly giving up and then having a re-think in my search criteria I thought it was a bit more strict and saved the search filter....There I came across the profile of ''Congratulations'' and there is no reason for this name, as this is a matter of fact his name! (This of asian/arabic word for ''Congratulations'' and bob's your uncle that is his name!). So from the start I called him this and knew and dint seem to have a problem with me calling him this....lol.
So within a week of getting to know with a few messages and phone calls, we arranged to meet....now Congratulations is from East London, and we arranged to meet in East London (not that I had an issue with this, as I am a child of adventure and shall be more than happy to travel the earth in search of my other half....ever if he reside in...East London (I personally love East London by the way, always have had some connection with it!) :)

So I went to the ends and we met up at a Shisha/Restaurant place....and he was good looking, casual and yes had that typical East London lingo thing going on....now he was really chatty which is not a bad trait to have at all, but the kind of chatty that was like a motor mouth!!! And the conversation would dart from one story he would tell me to another, like I automaticly knew what he was talking about (a lot of drama) and as funny as it was, he would talk, he might as well have been speaking another language! At a few points I just let him ramble on as I sat there clueless what he was on about as he expected me to know and when I did stress I had no idea what he was on about he would stop and express with both hands waving expressively ''I THOLD YUH!'' And at this point I would be shouting 'NO YOU DIN'T!!??'...At this point I had a flash vision of being old with this fella and probably STILL be having the same sort of lost in translation communication issues!

One thing that came up was the fact he never left the vicinity of East London, and seemed to have an issue that I was always around London and different areas and outside of London.  He said something about ''Why venture out when everything is here (meaning steak house and Nando's)....Basically he just did not see the point of seeking different culinary cultures and even said "Why go out when you can make it at home?!!" Don't get me wrong, but I am a homebody, but to the extreme of not venturing beyond the A406 is a bit.....weird......well to me it is!

Anyhow while all this mis-communication was going on, in a few of the pauses I did catch him eyeing me up, which some guys I have notice can do on the sly, and then there are those who just do it blatantly.....The reason for the :/ face is because motor mouth congratulations would stop talking and well spoke with his eyes I guess which I found a bit :/ Either way after a bit of Shisha I was on my way....I dint really have any attraction -wow-chemistry, Congratulations just seemed like a lot of hard work....after meeting up there where some messages exchanged and calls things where going.....flat...well for me anyway.  Our conversations started to go something like this..'Hi...Hows you? Hey...What you up to...Night....Hey...etc......There was no getting to know me and when I would ask anything it would be basic one worded answers....Then the name calling started....Hey Curvy.....(now I'm no skinny binny or a big girl at all but I think it was the tone?.....anyhow I ignored it, until it changed to 'Hey fatty'..... -_-

Seriously? And the thing is I said something straight away but it dint stop.....And this fool still kept saying 'Hey fatty....' And well yeah I ignored him and this seemed to get to him.  I eventually said to him to get back on the dating sites and find a Skinny Binny! To which he would just reply ''LOL''......kmt.....The last time he said it, I said I was done and block his ass on whats app, to which HE said I should get off my high horse! I made a point that he does not know me a single a bit to EVEN THINK I would be someone who would even know how to mount a flipping high horse let alone already be on one!!!! He got blocked.....

So that was Commiserations done with.....I mean Congratulations......

Then a few weeks later after going back on the dating sites I got chatting to another London fellow, this time one from WEST London....However within the first 5 days whats app messages had been sent and with no phone calls exchanged I already knew by his grammer and tone of speaking he was a posh one..to which I might add I have named Mr Posh.....

Within the few days we had arranged to meet up, but for some normal reason I could not make it, and I informed him and apologised and said we should reschedule.....To which I got a message which seemed like a bit of a lecture that he was extremely busy and that he did not give just anybody his time!!!

Anyhoo....we rescheduled for two days later.....Again me being me....I saw no photo....yes yes I know....I never learn when it comes to no photos....But I guess that really is blind dating!! ;p

So the day came to meeting up and he called and low and behold he spoke like a public school boy....man/guy.....and when he called I spotted him, smartly dressed with a crisp shirt and smart trousers and ray bands and....his man bag.

I just have this thing about man bags....You can have some manly man bags and 

then "fe-male type man bags"....I don't know it just makes me cringe....So we went to this Indian restaurant...And he seemed pleasant, jolly enough....A bit over animimated but I found it amusing.  As we ordered he spoke to the waiter in his posh public school boy accent and asked "What part of South Asia are you from?"....To which the waiter hesitated as he was expecting a food order not an order of a question of where he was from.....He answered a bit bemused and Mr Posh then declared that he's from "The Punn-Jabb" Said in that very way....Strike cringe moment number 1......As we waited for the food, he was really chatty...I asked him where about I'm London was he from and he said "Nnnorth Westttt London" When he said that I said "Oh like West Hampstead"....he then declared like he was the Earl and lord of this place......"Colindale".....I was like "oh OK?" And again he repeated "Yes Nnnnorth Westttt London, I am a Londoner after all" And would then do this posh *Gaffaw of a laugh*.....I said I used to live in Enfield to which Sir-Lord-Earl-Of-Nnnnorth-Westtt-London-Colindale "Informed" me that Enfield is NOT part of London.....Me being me screeched with a "are you kidding me" laughter saying "Yes it is!!!??" To which his Lordship said again in his posh toff accent "Well I AM from Nnnnorth Westttt London after all"....It was like he was always going to be right and I was going to be wrong....

He informed me that he is a humanist and a Muslim.....that the two are seperate things.....I kinda get his point but I personally think being a Muslim you are a humanist and should always do good no matter what....He said "By the Grace of God" He was doing well for himself "Lord willingly" He will continue to do so....Me by habit I say "Allhamdulilah" or "Inshallah" which there is nothing wrong with what he said, but I did notice this about him and mentioned it, to which I got an abrupt reply "Well, I'm not Arab am I??!"...Well I got told right there...

As the evening went on he said my name is also a men's name to which I had never heard of and I said "Your calling me a man then?" To which he said yes....a tranny!!!" as you can read....a charmer this one!!....He then asked me what else do I like doing I said I have an interest in photography and as I am always at weddings. I love the ambiance and find the natural photos when people do not realise I am taking an actual photo com you the nicest.....To which he said...."Oh right..."So your a pervert.....a photographer pervert" And once again he gawffawed loudly......By this point I knew this dude was pretty lived in his little Nnnnorth Westtt London world......

Okay when I have met up with guys yes I always get my purse out and then the guy will be like "I've got this".....I mean I'm always happy to pay being the modernist...... BUT on a first meeting and a review meeting with the girls the question "Did he pay" always arises.....I am a bit old fashioned, but I don't think all guys realise that this small gesture can be a deal breaker as it is all noted in the " First impressions count".  As I reached for my purse and before I could say or suggest ANYTHING he said "We shall go halves".....I was like OK sure.....!!??

So that was that, talk about a right character....this one had pretty much corrected me (well he thought he had) and insulted me in slap and nicely pat manner....He said he would be in touch, and I was like..."ohok" Not fussed at all I I did or did not hear from him again!!! That evening I got a message and he said...."Thank you for a lovely evening I had a Fantastic time"......My facial reaction was pretty much like a confused.."hain???" Face :/

I said the usual bog standard "yeah was nice meeting you also"....A few days later I got a text from Posh Toff which went along the lines of this:

"Do hope you are well? I have been thinking about meeting you....and.....(Do I sound like a high court judge here who is about to make his decision?? Just wanted to say it gives me great pleasure to announce that I'm very much interested in getting to know you better. Gosh that deliberation went on for a bit!!!

My first reaction was naturally laugh and shake my head, let this fool constantly auto-correct AND insult me further??!! Nah -uh not me......BAH!!!!!

So once again feeling a little deflated from Mr Never leaves east ends to Mr Nnnorth West London.....I'm not sure where my compass will take me next on this search.....It can be draining at times.....And there are times when I think to myself am I doing my best to be as simple as possible....

Looking back at how dating used to be so simple.....walking up to someone and SPEAKING to them and getting to know them in time....now its apps galore...Tinder, Happen, Dating sites ,make it multi harder now....one eye is on you while the other eye is still wandering.....

Its a jungle out there.....