Around the way kinda girl

So! The bear made a quick return and a quick exit...Just like Gloria Gaynor's song lyrics ''The bear came back from outer space, with the same negative face'' a whole year on....So that door is well and truly locked, padlocked, bolted, triple double bolted throw the padlock keys and door keys into that big round pit that is in that 300 film!

*deep breath and sigh*

So towards that week (last week to be exact) I get a phone call from another Aunty Rishta (match maker Aunty).  It has been a while since I had spoken to this particular Aunty, however she first said that I had forgotten her, then to which I filled in the blanks of the events in the last few months of my year (going back to the home land, Ramadaan, Weddings, family etc).

This Aunty then cuts to the chase of why she is calling (which I like and I kinda expected there was a reason why she called!)....She mentions that a guy has just come to see her and that he is nice looking and 38, he is from the mother land and looking to find someone here in the UK to settle as his mother and brother live here already...After the dead end week I had with the bear I am at a point where anything goes.  Aunty asked if I was free any time soon as this fella was going back to the mother land in a few days....Me being me, I had catch up dinners left right and centre...although I then thought I might as well be more proactive than ever, I don't have time to waste any more! So I informed Aunty that I could squidge a meeting with this fella in-between me finishing work and heading out to meet friends for dinner. So Aunty sounding excited and pleased with her lead said she would forward my number to this guy and take it from there.

Later that evening I got a polite text informing of who he was and that Aunty Rishta had given my number. To the point he asked if I wanted to meet, to which I was to the point I informed time and place also which would be 3:45pm by Kings cross station, done deal!

So the next day I was busy at work and not even though into meeting this fella until I saw my phone ping with a message dead on 3pm...''Am here and just walking around, where bouts shall I meet you?'' To which I replied exactly where...I then got an immediate response of: ''Ok am blue jeans, white and blue shirt, light brown shoe, kaki jacket (his spelling not mine), black armani bag''....My reaction was that inside I already knew that this one was going to be a No, No....No backing out now...just had to have a glimmer of little tiny hope.....and grin and bear with it......

So when I got to the agreed meeting point, I called...it was easier and well faster....He then picked up and said where are you? Oh I think I see and then described what I was wearing...''Dammit!''... why could he see me first and I could not see him for sheeeeet despite his crime watch attire description?!? So the fact he already spotted me was awkward..as I just stood there twiddling with my hair trying to act 'normal' and not being rude by looking at my phone I had to style it out by looking interested in what was going around me at the same time tying to spot this fella.....

Eventually I spot him...looking straight at me....I cringe inside.....and instantly know its a no.no.....I know Aunty Rishta said he was good looking...but without sounding like a bow bag....I just saw this Derek Zoolander /  Simon Cowell tuft hair do....and then the big moon face and everything else......I thought well cant be rude now and thought to myself to go for a super quick coffee and exit, at least I could go back and said I had a little chat with him....

While in the queue awkwardly I look at the menu not quite sure how to handle this one, when suddenly he whips out his phone and shows me a photo on his phone of a little toddler...He then goes ''This is my niece''....Me: ''Oh ok?'' to which he then adds ''Yes you see the dress on her....I bought that from here in England and sent it to my brother''....Me:''Oh ok....cute'' *Queue big eye emoji*

Then we get a drink and sit....As I sit I wonder how long am I going to be held captive....He immediately starts to talk about himself, how he works for the Governmental police force back in the mother land and is deployed all over Europe (yes he has a very good job, but still....).  He talks about how he recently came back from Switzerland and that he has a friend there who has two glider planes...Me: ''Ooh that's nice''....He then continues and again whips out his phone and shows me a photo of  inside the plane clearly on the ground...''This is the plane on the ground'' Me: ''Oh ok''....He then shows me a photo of the plane with a birds eye view of the ground...Him: ''This is when I was in the air''...Me:''Oh ok''....then he goes on to say how he was in Switzerland for work, how he has met many other officials from other countries...'bang on time I'm like''Oh ok''...then he rummages through his wallet and then pulls out his Police badge, Army ID, and Government pass and tells me that it access's him to all areas...(in my mind I'm like not with me!!) He aligns his passes in a line directly to my so that they are on my very edge and side of my table and had laid each one, one by one like playing cards....He then says to me ''You know when I marry I shall still think that me and my wife will still go out, even once we have kids..'' He then rummages in his wallet again, this time with one eye brow raised, (causing his Simon Cowell tuft hair to rise higher) with a SMIRK to himself looking really pleased with himself....he says ''I showed your whats app photo to my mother, and I said to her, ''If she likes to dress modern I am MORE thank ok with that....I then drink my frappachino looking down *big eye emoji* not knowing what to say....I cant exactly say ''Oh ok'' I think I have now used my years supply of ''Oh ok responses''....After saying this he then whips out his Business card, and points out his email address, his mobile number and tells me that his whats app number and also has his land lines, and then put another card in front of me and says that is his brothers AND his business...a house repair business back in the mother land....he then says if I ever need house repairs in the mother land to well use that card to make contact...Me:  ''Oh ok''...At this point I cant....I cant take any more of this and I say , ''listen I have to go as I have a dinner date to get with friends...(no lie but was like 3 hours till then!!).

He was like sure no problem, maybe we can chat for a bit more on whats app or phone and you can let me know what you think? Me: *big emoji eyes* I said my goodbyes and waiting till he was out of view and got on the phone to Aunty Rishta...she sounded excited....I said to her that he looked a LOT older than 38 which he did and she sounded SO surprised!! As she thought he dint look it....Well I did!...I said that I dint want to waste his time and I hoped that she would tell him this as its not fair dragging any of this...she sounded a bit gutted by her miss match but I thanked her for thinking of me and wanted to help....However I am not sure if she did call, as Simon still messaged to which I had to compose a polite dumping text.....

However with this experience I have learnt to be cut throat, no dilly dallying, which is what I seemed to have been doing previously. I like this proactive and straight yes or no...after all these years I really know who and what I am about....I really do miss companionship...having that one person you can chat shit to, have intelligent conversations, have comfortable silences with, the one you want to share something first with them above anyone else, just someone I can turn to......I am trying letting go, stop making excuses of getting to know someone, seeing beyond..and going with my gut instinct....I really don't care where on this planet he is......end of the day where ever he is, he will be my home, my comfort, my everything......and I guess I will always be a around the way kinda girl....plonk me anywhere and I will get on with it!.......(Oh, ok). ;p

In a Situationship.

Hi all,

I know I know its been a minute.....well more like a few months! I have been keeping busy with an unplanned trip back to the motherland to see me dear Nan through ramadaan and as usual an influx of wedding madness in the mix and other family events after that! (I’m actually at work typing this and not at my usual nocturnal spot at home with the lamp shade as my only form of light at home!).

Lately I have just felt the impulse to just do things that I want and when, no dilly dallying and hanging around.
However with this in mind I had reluctantly and dragged my feet by ''Put myself back online/out there'' and got chatting to someone and after 9 months of no dating or anything and I recently met up with this fellow....however it was a case of ''Nice guy but no'' This ''date'' also comes close to my 20 minute date as this had been done within a second record timing of 55 minutes and that included sitting down, ordering food, eating, small talk and at then an good bye at the tube station! 

I guess its the whole chatting via what’s app and then meeting in person can deffo show you and tell you that they are very two different things.  However I do kind of think looking back that throughout our chatting it was more banter and small general talk, I guess because I know now that I personally hold back until I meet someone....but then there are times you do click with someone and can talk and talk till the cows come home. I guess all in all it comes down to 'Clicking’. When you can just chat crap, deep intellectual, meaningless, silliness everything under the sun kind of conversations 24/7. And it’s rare. It’s like a rare occurrence that you come across such a thing, when you really truly click with someone on all levels and I think that is what I am finding hard, as much as I am open, I just find that others I have met do not really get who I am....well I seem to think so these days.

I think these days it's hard to find someone who really listens, understands and know what small things make your heart melt, make you tick and just in general encourage you to be better.

I feel that everyone is so guarded...or in some cases can even be shady and just quite selfish.  And that is what I find off putting...selfishness....such a ugly characteristic to have.  But you cannot really know someone unless you are both open, nothing held back, just being your raw self, no frills, nothing hidden, being humanly honest....I say humanly because end of the day none of us are perfect...if someone was perfect then clearly they would be a robot or something.

When getting to know someone, I find the random obsessions, weird funny habits endearing and always take such things into account. I’m not an avid fan of flower senders... I think guys who send flowers are unoriginal, that is my personal opinion...I think it's the easiest gesture and a no brainer on woo-ing. Some of you might think it’s a lovely gesture, but I take greater pleasure in seeing flowers in their natural habitat and doing their thing and having their moment blossoming where they should be.  But in general maybe because I have met a lot of guys who are not at all thoughtful. or just never bothered to scratch the surface...I am not a diva of any sort as I have been blessed and been able to make myself happy and content, however I have not come across someone who knows what random small thing would make me smile or mean something.

One question that I do get a lot in the messages I get from dating sites in person is ''Why? why are you single?'' One guy who was far too young and pointed this out, said ''Are guys blind?''...as much of a flattering remark, it did ping home and put a lump in my throat as I have no answers, ask me anything and I can give you an answer, except that one question....I really can’t, maybe because it’s something that pulls on my heart strings and makes me speechless every time and the weird thing is every time I am asked it comes a shock...a reality check maybe that I have been single for so long.

I recently had a conversation with a friend and like myself is always in the same sort of situation, talks to someone, strike up conversation but nothing really develops, but there is banter but nothing seems to move forward.  There is no definition of what is going on, and I guess the only way to describe it as a...well...''Situationship''.....I love this...next time someone asks me for my status I’m going to be like I'm in a Situationship....the situation being...... that I'm forever single...(for those of you wondering I am in my 30's!).

However being single for so long has its ups and downs....I’ve seen everyone around settle down, have babies and get into some sort of life routine....where as I can pretty much uplift myself and go where ever I want to...I have seen close ones go through difficulties through relationships, seen the ups and downs, the make ups and in some cases's the break ups and it’s not easy...I guess in that sense when I see and hear of such things it makes me glad I am single and makes me more guarded in some cases.

I guess I am at a point where I don’t know what else I can do except for live, love, laugh and pray....I honestly don’t know what more I can say and do anymore.....Dizzy rascals words just popped into my head ''A heavy base line is my kind of silence''... as much as that is a bit of a juxtaposition of two things, sometimes there are no words for feelings, just sense.
Deep down I know there must be a reason why I am single and all I can think of is that the one above has his reasons and it’s all down to timing and that I just have to keep on doing my own thing...I can’t believe we are in August already and just like Del boy I used to think ''This time next year...'' But I can’t even do that anymore, I really can’t box my life by dates and timelines.....I have let go and become a bit of a nomad on this journey....I have heard wonderful things of other peoples encounters.....I just hope one day I have my own encounter......

''Let not the sands of time get in your lunch''. ~Tony Hendra

Bonjour!!!

Tis been a bit init?  Well April has been a busy one for sure, I had a little get away and time out for myself which was amazing! We all need a bit of change of location in order to get a better perspective of things, even if you are unable to get off this Island (UK) there are so many places within that can make it feel like you are abroad...(What you waiting for? GO!!)...I ended up in the South of France, which I totally fell in love with.

One thing that I did not expect to hit me, was the fact that it was so chilled out, laid back and ever so friendly not to mention the stunning scenery! However what more struck me was the fact during the week as I sat alone on beach one afternoon I saw a lot of families also chilling out, both parents plus kids...just hanging out.  As I sat there gazing into the French Riviera....shit....I was feeling broody!  I have to say I have cousins with plenty of children who I love and adore but it was not until that point it really hit me, Id so love to have a mini me of my own....I was a bit taken aback at the thought of this as I never really sat and thought about it. As I sat on the sandy beach....did it finally hit me that the sands of time where ticking away?

Upon my return, as always I had to go into full swing wedding mode as my beautiful baby cousin was to be getting married.  So as always dashing between work, home and all over east London throughout the week and weekend...I was pretty much all over the show.  During my all over the show week, I was in my local supermarket, and I heard two familiar voices.  I turned around and saw that it was my primary school friend's parents....I finished up with my shopping and approached them....its had been a year since I had seen them.  See the thing is.....I had not seen them since my friend had passed away.. and when I saw them I did feel guilty......I greeted both of them with big tight hugs....I dint expect to bump into them and it brought a whole bag of mixed emotions....As always they where smiley and greeted me with such love and warmth.....from that point onwards with all my might I had to contain and restrain myself from shedding a tear in front of them as I could feel myself wanting to burst. As I asked how they where, it struck me how amazing they truly are and still how they speak of my dear friend.....The unconditional love parents have for their children....it touched me so deeply.  Their strength was what touched me the most, my friend was a few months older than me and had everything going for him.  What pained me the most, he was meant to be getting married last year in the summer.  However mash'Allah he did manage to get married and have that wish fulfilled. Seeing my friends parents made me think a lot....we take advantage of time, we never know what is around the corner. It made me think of my own parents, and their worries for me, how ever never really speak about it and things are brushed under the carpet, but its like their worries and concerns are there just not spoken about. I came across an article on the Huffimgton Post...about a guy called Shalin...(I don't want this post to be about sadness....just about seize the day, when we think we have it bad, always try and see the good that the day had brought).  All I shall say, is his quote had me at this:

''Shalin Shah's Last Wish Is That People Treasure Life And See All The Sunsets''

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/12/shalin-shah-sunsets_n_7265846.html

I read his story, and with the past week with my emotions running high and all over the place reading his story made me wish people where more fearless and free.  I think in this day and age everyone is so cautious and not willing to let go to embrace their true feelings and thoughts.  I think this is why I have always had the attitude to never give up, to never have ''what if's''....I guess I also live by ''If you don't ask, you don't get'' attitude. But this has also lead me to believe to make your own happiness each day, be it the smallest thing like treating yourself in any small way you can...each day.  I take comfort in the fact that I can make myself happy, and that I can enjoy my own company.  Thinking about it, if I am to wonder this planet alone, I can see it and accept that fact.

Enough of my waffling about all this...(Wish I did have a hot waffle though, with ice cream too!).

I balled my eyes out.......

Who needs a hero?? Be your Own!!!

Well it is mid March already?  I have to say I have been keeping a bit of a low profile online and offline.....Sometimes you just need to switch off a bit from the outside world and have proper ''You'' time and think where you where you want to go and where you need to be.

It is true to say that as you get older you notice things that you never realised had changed before your eyes....like parents...Masha'Allah (which means the present perfect of God's will ) I am lucky to have the great parents I have been blessed with.  

Masha'Allah they are celebrating their 40th Ruby Wedding Anniversary :)  Seeing how they worked all hours that they could, juggle with childcare and their work...to the family fun holidays they gave us....always fills me with pride and love.....Seeing how they both do little things for each other without saying a word....that itself is a blessing.....If I am ever lucky enough in my lifetime to have an inch of what my parents share over 40 years with that special person, I would truly say I would be forever thankful and blessed to the one above.  

Another close family wedding is upon the horizon, and I am maid of honour...t will be a pleasure, but I think jokes aside of being like that chick from that film ''27 dresses''...This one might be a little bit harder for me.....It's a wedding where I literally shall be the last one left who is not married in the family.....And as being maid of honour it does throw me into the limelight in my head, for all the wrong reasons.....I feel like a bit like ''The last Unicorn''....I know Magic Unicorns are so tres chic at the moment, but I's talking about my favourite childhood VHS tape I had as a child in the 80's (which Mia Farrow was the voice of the last Unicorn - cant get more chic then that eh??!).  Looking back it was quite a deep story, the last Unicorn who fell in love, and ended up having to sacrificing her love for the sake of keeping the rest of the Unicorns alive.....Sounds a bit crazy to be writing about unicorns on my blog, but I guess the moral is ''Tis better to have loved and lost: Than never to have loved at all'' kinda thing...(But the whole thing is on youtube  if anyone wants to check it out!) ;p

However, it is well known that I am not a wall flower, camera shy or any of that....I think being on my own for so long has made me independent and I accept I have to stand alone and face on my issues myself...I take comfort in the fact that I can hold things down and sort things, by myself.....Yes there are times when I just want to be scooped up in a big hunky hairy armed bear hug and let out a big exhale.....or when putting on that dress and that bit when you are trying to extend your arms and hands to pull that zip up to the top but always end up fighting yourself....those are times I long for the companionship or just having someone there to be a non stop chatter box, to the comfortable silences, to the random laughter and also seriousness.....its only natural to want all that...But I have to be realistic and what I have learnt and accepted.....sometimes you just have to be your own hero....I always loved She-Ra (I'm showing my age here) Looking back I had her (rather foxy) doll and horse Swiftwind, but you know what..even She-Ra held her own down! 

I think from an early age I had always balled out like a boss....recently looking back at some old photos, I pretty much did! Please see below as an example....I have more but I shall not make this a ''Show and tell' blog. But yeah I dint give a crap....I am pretty much still like that now....What you see and ask is what you get with me....I don't know if my honesty has made guys think twice or what ever...I know must of been judged....But I think I am at a point I don't give a monkeys.....(as you can see....).

I just think the main thing as long as you are happy and can make yourself happy is all that counts.  Recently I bought a pair of heels that I LOVE, and its definitely the smaller blessings in life that make you realise how lucky we are to have each day.

Jeez....I just had a thought....I have not been ON a proper date since last year September????!!!! Well...I am on a break from online and seeing what the real world has to offer....?? I just have to carry on and keep looking ahead.  Do the things that make you happy and smile....like my dear Dad said to me about a month ago.....''Smile and the whole world will smile with you'' :)

I know its a bit of a short blog, however until the next post, be that happy shiny, magical Unicorn and strut yo stuff! ;) 

Dry January, Feeble February....

Hello!

Well I have to say time is flying by once again! And it seemed with January everyone at work said they were doing 'dry January with booze and unhealthy foods'.....I however seemed to have lost my dating mojo naturally and went along with the dry January theme in dating terms.....

My activity has been of zero effort, I guess part of me has kinda ''given up'' January blues probably kicked in too....we are all human and have our ups and downs.  But as always I am so so grateful and blessed for everyone I have in my life and not a day goes by that I am thankful.

Its just hard seeing my parents getting older, knowing that they are worrying about me.  Its hard knowing this and being strong and hiding my worries about them and vice versa.  I think my thankfulness to The One above for each day keeps me going, seeing the beauty in every little thing that comes my way each day.  And its those very little beautiful things keep me going....like seeing a school girl helping this old lady get off the bus with her heavy bags....its was not so much the girl lifting the bags unexpectedly by the girl, but it was seeing the glowing smile afterwards on the old ladies face which the school girl dint see as she turned her back and walked away...however I saw that...and her beautiful smile touched my heart.

I think what's been getting me down is thinking of the long list of Mr's I have met and thinking why and what made things wrong....as hard as it is...time is getting on and  feel I'm hitting a brick wall each time....however ...enough of my sour puss woeful thoughts!!!  Plus I am noticing that guys past the 30 mark seem to have ''Mr Big'' syndrome..( think sex in the city Mr Big)...This is what we call the emotionally unavailable male.....Alpha male, likes to be in control, hates the idea of commitment, likes the idea of being able to shop around up to the age of 45-50.

I have to say the Mr Big's of this world are truly an enigma to me....I mean do they think they are immortal? I am certain they are so set in their ways that they may find it hard to make a change and commitment in the first place.  So apart from growing old...what else changes??

Aunty Cilla!!! I love her.... I really do and I am still yet to meet her!!!  She called me up and as always was so loving and sweet asking how have I been keeping, informing me that she has been busy out and about doing various things.....one thing about her, she is always out when I call her, and she always has a habit of speaking to other people when I am on the phone to her.  She has this warm affectionate friendly aura about her and she has this will....this willingness to always help others around her. Which made me think that I never really knew what her situation was....So during dry January I called her and was near her area and said that I would love to see her and have a catch up, to which she said in a bunged up voice that she had the flu and that her place was awfully messy with lots of papers around....to which I seemed a bit bemused....she then said that she was busy writing poetry...and this made me more curious and wonder about her..what was she all about?  I sensed that she seemed down....and then she said that how she wanted and hopes I do find someone...and that she would love to meet me when she was better and tell me about her....it was like she knew what I was thinking.....she then elaborated that she was once married....20 years ago and her husband left her....she did not go into details, but her just saying that I sensed and heard the sadness, loneliness and pain all at once in her voice....and it made me sad....I knew there was something about her, she carried on saying how in the 20 years she has searched and searched and is still searching for love....''everyone deserves someone to love'' her exact words....I really felt for her when she said that...there is me moping about how this search is taking ages, and then there is her.....Aunty Cilla who is doing her all to set up single people while she herself has been waiting in vain all this time.....I wanted to give her a really big hug there and then....Inshallah (god willingly) I will do soon when I arrange to see her and know her story.....

So a few days after this conversation I had on the phone with Aunty Cilla she called me with a guy who is 37, from North west London (No not Lord earl of Collindale!) . I asked if she had a photo of him, but being a typical non tech savvy mobile user, she said that the phone memory was full on her mobile and would not allow her to send or receive photos and then she said that she wanted to meet me and show me in person.

I said well I trusted her and said that I was happy for her to pass my number as she had seen his photo after all!! So she said that she would speak to him and pass my number to him.....

A day later which happened to be a lazy Sunday....I wake up and stirr and stretched like a cat as I do and as I stretch I reach under my pillow for my phone which I am sure every single one of us does!! And I see a text message...its was from the guy who Aunty Cilla mentioned.....He introduced himself....And then I saw his attached picture and I was a bit disturbed......I have seen a lot of selfie's in my life....but this one took the.....well...I am not one for posting peoples faces on my blog or naming and shaming in real life (hence all the nick names lol)...but I shall show you a Crime watch drawing kinda thingy of his eyes......

:O  <--- That was literally my morning facial reaction....I was speechless...it was a mega weird close up selfie and I was taken aback......I dint know what to do so I dint reply....clearly no attraction there!! I had to pop out that day and I thought to myself as soon as I get a chance I would call Aunty Cilla....I was not able to speak to Aunty Cilla that very day....however the next morning at 7:36AM I get a missed call from Mr Crazy look in his eyes.....and it kinda freaked me out......strange time to have a first conversation with someone right??!

So I made sure even if it was in work hours to call Aunty Cilla asap.....She asked me if Mr Crazy eyes had texted and if we had spoken....I said...well he sent me his picture...and I kind of went quiet, and she said what did I think, I said ''Well sorry...sorry but its a no''.....This time Aunty Cilla went silent....And I said ''Hello?''...Then she said, ''You sure?.....why don't you meet him for a coffee as some people can look better in person than their photo??''......I said ''Erm no...I'm not attracted to him''....then I said that he called me this morning also so early.....then she asked me again if I was sure to which I said 'Yes'..laughing a little this time...Then she asked me what photo did he send, if it was of him with a friend, to which I said ''No'' and she sounded surprised.....and had a tone of ''What has he done/sent her'' kind of reaction also. She then said if I could send her the photo he had sent to see what I meant!!....She asked again if I was sure, I said ''YESSSS'' and she then said..''ok...so you dint like his face''....and then she giggled!!...She is a character I tell you, but she understood that some sort of attraction had to be there.

Saying that Aunty Cilla said she would do the whole ''She does not want to pursue'' speech for me thankfully!..Aunty Cilla then mentioned another guy....(I held my breath at this point).  However this was through his mum.....This guy's mum is Canadian.....No she is from Ghana, no Grenada...No Canada....No Ghana....(we had a minute of rotating the three places until Aunty Cilla said finally Grenada!)....And then said but she was not sure if the dad was Pakistani or not.....lol....lord!! But apparently this guy is 34 a Solicitor in the city and Aunty Cilla mentioned ''Well his mum is a nice looking lady so he should be a nice looking boy for you''. *Face palm moment*

Bless Aunty Cilla, I have to say she does bring colour into my life and I genuinely cant wait to meet her which I hope is soon! :)

Tis upon the week of Valentines....and as always sticking to tradtion (not that I am bitter of never ever having a Valentines in my life)..... I'm sticking two fingers (both hands) up to it and strutting away in my high heels to this....Until next time.......Signing out Halaal Chick In The City ;p

2014 The year of the Jive Turkey.....2015 The year of the Peacock ;)

The year is coming to it's end and 12 months on my quest has lead me no further than how I first started....I have to be honest, I do feel deflated...endless encounters, brick walls and dead ends...the life of spinsterhood looks like it is coming closer and closer....

Looking back at my bend over backward efforts (such as in the post Gone Fishing - http://halaalchickinthecity.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/gone-fishing_19.html) I do have to pat myself on the back for trying at least hey?

I'm in my early thirties and looking around its seems things are not as easy as they seemed in my 20's.  Looking at a lot of guys that I have met and know who are in their early to mid thirties its seems that guys/bachelors are very much care free and clinching on to their hay days of their 20's.  The difference with those guys I guess they know that they have no age limit when it comes to finding someone as they are established within their careers and comfortable and can take their pick.  Looking at girls....I mean females, who are in their early to mid 20's they know exactly what they want and I guess established guys who are at that required level of comfort appear to be in their early to mid 30's.  Some may agree or disagree with this, but this is just my observation of things.  One guy I know who is just past his mid 30's said its always better to have a girl who is in her early 20's as she is easily 'moulded'....good luck mate! That's all I'm saying on that!!  My friend and I came up with a name for these 30 something bachelors stuck in their ways (thirty-Fookers).....

Which leads me to think, have I missed something here, am I 10 years behind in my thinking, should I have been more savvy and aimed for someone 10 years my senior all this time or do I now have to cut to the chase and start looking for a sugar daddy???!! :O

While at work being the end of year office banter including new years resolutions for all of us, mine was ''By June to have my office lot invited to MY wedding'' I'm like you having a laugh by JUNE? 6 MONTHS??? Best joke ever this year that!  Then last week at a family dinner, I was speaking to a cousin who asked me how the dating is going, to which I asked him how is his job hunting going (he just graduated from uni).  To which he then said, how about a bet....if he gets a job before I find someone I treat him to dinner, however if I find someone before he gets a job he treats ME to dinner.....and we shook on this and I said ''Whats the deadline?'' He then said ''June''??!!! I screehed saying JUNE? WHY JUNE? That's 6 MONTHS AWAY??!'' I then said ''Noooooo September!'' WTH?!!

In this WHOLE YEAR nothing has materialised...how the heck will anything happen in 6 MONTHS???!...No pressure then!!?

I am actually at a blank page moment in all this now, I have pretty much covered everything, Facebook, Twitter, Tinder,(now deleted after like 2 weeks), Speed dating, Blind dating, online dating, Meet up app, Meetings at weddings, Traditional tea meetings in my home, Being pushed into someones living room unknowingly to say Salaam/Hello with no warning what so ever, random encounters, through friends, through cousins, meeting through Aunty's....have I missed anything??

I think I am going to start like this.....with nothing, with doing absolutely nothing....let's see where that gets me....I think that's a good start to the new year.

Wishing you all a joyous and prosperous new year!!!!

- A Halaal Chick In The City ;)