Today.....I think I was reminded exactly why I am still single......Today being a typical wintry day in the UK, it was cold, dark and it was raining that rain that is so small and light yet still frizzes your hair into the biggest frizz ball going on your head and no matter how much to try to pat it down or do whatever.....its just there.....a mess.
As I scurried out of the train station I caught sight of a guy standing by the entrance, clever enough to be sheltered from this rain smartly dress, looking neat and tidy...Looked like someone who works in the city. As I walked towards my destination we caught eyes, and he held his gaze for a few seconds with a slight expression of ''I know your face, and then switched to 'I DO know your face'' and just after that click of the penny dropping of who I was, I scurried even.......FASTER!
This is the story of my....first crush.
I think I know now why my parents put me in a girls secondary school.....I'm not sure if it was for my own protection and sanity or the outside pre-teen world. Leaving secondary school and going into college was a big step and big move......well one major factor of change......BOYS!!!!!
I made friends quickly at college.....but somehow I can't remember how, where when....but I saw this guy at college and omg...that was it.....my ''Crush'' was born. Being a young teen back then......it's clear to say girls of that age in our present day of age are faaaarrrr more advanced from what I was anyway. And if this was present day, this whole lil escapade would have probably been dealt with in a different manner. He was a year older then me, looking back din't even dress that well...had one of them record bags that where in trend....and now I'm really gonna say it...and feel mega old.......he had a.....I can't bring myself to say it..........a PAGER!......Yes this is how far back we are going.
As I made new friends in college I found out where this guy worked (Burger King), and got more details......including being handed his pager number.....
I felt like I had been given a Tetris 4 line combo!! I had some sort of Power a real communication link STRAIGHT TO HIM!!!! I did not waste time of course I went to the in house pay phone and slotted that 10p min there to get my message's worth! I remember along the lines of dictating to the person on the other line ''I've been watching you....your mystery girl'' Of course thinking I sounded demur, inviting and this will SOOOOO win him over, little did I know and realise what a complete physco I must of sounded.....or looked.
For some bizarre reason my friend said I should go into Berger King (to see her of course). I would sit not too close but also not too far...... so with all my ''mystery pager messages'' and me now turning up to his work.. I was trying to put the subtle message of....'hey'...no wonder I must of looked like I had issues....I think now.....I like to put it down to 'lack of social skills towards the opposite sex.' Now the thing with me.....and I admit I think this still happens.....if I like you....I tend to ignore you or not speak to you.......stupid and defeats the purpose I know, but I can admire you from afar and everything, but can't for the life of me play it cool and demure, have a normal convo with out feeling hot and bothered without perving on someone I find attractive or like......FACT. I do however go quiet.....and try and carry on all normal....to which my close friends call 'Going all Elizabeth Bennet are we?'.
So I think he found out (really not sure how he would have)...but I remember just in case he dint know it was me.....and went and did something even more stupid....I put pen to paper and wrote to him (never had a face to face conversation with him by the way). There I did it, signed sealed my thoughts and feelings to paper and got a messenger to pass it to him. Needles to say he never responded, and sent a message in a form of a friend.....along the lines of 'thanks but no thanks'....and that was it....it all stopped..my friends where there of course to pick the pieces......I think they knew the outcome.....looking back, I do think what a loony bin I was, but yes I guess we have all done silly things in the name of.....having a crush.
No comments:
Post a Comment