What's Love Got To Do With It.......when it comes to food that is? ;p

They say that a way to a man's heart is through his stomach......er hello? Don't us females have to eat to? And why can we not be portrayed to enjoy our food? its not like we all stand there like

The amount of times guys who I have met and say that girls they have met never eat...I'm like dude my size 8 days are well and truly over! I am comfortable with myself and happy, I think if you cannot be comfortable in your own skin, how can you expect someone else to be comfortable with you?

Magazines, Online adverts, social media focus's so much on weight and looks these days, I find it quite alarming how everything seems to be on face value.  And I guess like food, if you do not like the look of something  your not going to eat it. Our sight will send the signals to our brain and we are quick to decide that its not right for you and you should keep away from it.

I think its good to try at least, be adventurous, I have friends who dismiss foods without trying it, is this because we are now a fussy nation, as we now like the look of things rather then the taste?

I think this is why I am so optimistic when it comes to being set up by friends and family and not seeing pictures.  Just good to be thrown in there....but I believe if you meet someone and there is something there, and you are not sure...still give it a chance.

I have been blessed to have an amazing network of friends and family, and most come in two's...the married couples.  I love being around them and always feel their warmth and never feel like a gooseberry.  Being around such lovely people, I see how they interact, joke, love, and annoy each other, but it is all through growth, patience and love....I know it is not something that happens over night and Inshallah (God Willing) if/when I find someone, I will make an effort......it is almost like I am re-training myself to see the bigger picture.

This year I have met quite a few guys, and to be honest I think their ego's are their own demons and have made them SO blind!! Unable to see what amazing ladies are around them.  I still think guys have their pick of the bunch of ladies to choose from and I cannot see that changing.....that whole thing of looking out to see what is better, which is possible, but if they are constantly looking.....would it be better to have a love and be loved then end up being alone?

Talking about love I came across this and really hope to go to this, you guys might find it interesting too :)

http://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whatson/festivals-series/festival-of-love

I also came across this and I thought it was such a wonderful idea! When misfortunes happen to us, I think it is easy to think that we are the only person who has gone through such a thing.  When we look around and speak and see peoples experiences, its like a sort of healing process which what I think this is:

http://brokenships.com/

People sent in things from previous relationships and have a story to go with it.....I am always fascinated by peoples own stories, I think my favourite ones are about ''the ones that got away'' and the ''how did you guys meet''? :)

I recently saw Maleficent recently, and it definitely confirmed my views on Disney films....that there is a reason why the female villain's where the way they where! - BROKEN HEARTS BY THE REAL VILLAIN'S->MEN!!!

I don't blame them one bit! I think they are just misunderstood ladies....creatures. ;p
(But deffo go see Maleficent I loved it!)

But going back to the subject of love....I think there are all kinds of love, and seeing  and being around all forms and types of love is a blessing in itself, even if I do not have one of my own.....but there is one thing that cannot come between me and itself......My love of Food! I honestly think that Tina Turner's song was really about her love of food too......

''It may seem to you
That I'm acting confused
When you're close to me
If I tend to look dazed
I've read it someplace
I've got cause to be

There's a name for it
There's a phrase that fits
But whatever the reason
You do it for me''

I CALL THAT HUNGER RIGHT THERE!
Until next time ;)

When I feel bad......

Wanda ALWAYS makes me feel good, reppin us single ladies, and showin them guys what they missin.....HAYYYYYYY!

I should be in the FBI.....(Females Beware Imposters! = Men!)

As the search continues, I am discovering new things....not about myself but about the people I have encounters with.

And these encounters only make me more wonder about just how the opposite sex think and work.  Some guys just seem to be playing the game and looking for one thing by portraying to be the perfect guy, yet somehow switch to this egoistic big head!

So from my list (please see blog entry:  http://halaalchickinthecity.blogspot.co.uk/2013_02_01_archive.html )

This is a guy who I had met a few times, and well he did grow on me....however for some reason, this dude went all cold on me. So naturally I left him to it. (The way he got his name, was because he would rather eat a bag of peanuts then talk to me!! - True story). This had been about three years ago, and I had deleted his number naturally, however it appears he had not.  He messages me and I ignore them, however the trouble with technology (whats app) you can see the profile picture, and I had noticed it appeared that he had a 'female' in his display photos.  Yet this fool still messaged like normal and then said he had 'enticed' a young lady. To which I said that's good....however he would make cheeky comments and I would always refer nicely to his lady.  Yet he would still try and make small talk...I ignore the messages, yet he still comes back trying to make conversation.  And yes he tries to flirt and it makes me angry as I never respond....I am saving my big response to blast him as all I can think of is his poor wife!  When he had the chance to get to know me, and give me the time of day, it dint suit him then.....but for some weird reason now he is married it now suits him.....SERIOUSLY? What planet is he on? The next time Mr Peanut messages, he will sure be crushed into butter!!!

One fellow who I have recently been speaking to and very keen to meet up.....had got me a bit apprehensive. Lets just say my womanly instincts kicked in and I kinda went a bit FBI on him.  When he first messaged me from a matrimonial site, he had quite a few pictures and I dint question anything, until we spoke....and things became a bit more apparent.  He is about 8 years older then I, not that age is a matter but his views on things where definitely different from my own. Which got me thinking about his photo's for some reason.....he mentioned that he had just opened a new business, and me being me I did some social media research and came across some photos of this business he had...and low and behold....there where recent photo's of him.  he  had uploaded OLD photo's to the site....and I mean mega old photos.....I think me and on line dating need to end our relationship.....me not seeing photos to me seeing photo's and finding new ones......its just not meant for me!!

But by seeing what I have had to go through, cutting away all the weeds through this urban jungle, I am hoping there will be a clearing someday!!! I have you guys who are with me and also The Almighty above, who at times I think has a sense of humour, but also it makes me have patience, faith and I am more certain of myself.  Not letting myself compromise so early on just to keep a guy interested....it is a shame that there are guys out there who are looking to see what they can get, lie and go behind backs.....but hey, they all can't be bad right?.....Not like we are all bad also! ;)

Until next time!!

- A Halaal Chick in this big City! :)

May......the force be with you!.....I mean it!!!

It feels like I have not written in a life time on here! I think it is because if I am honest with myself I have been in reflection and gathering my thoughts......sometimes its funny how things can happen in life and at points you can have real juxtapositions (the fact of two things being seen or placed close together with contrasting effect.- yep pretty much sums up things in my life that happen...or the guys I have met!! lol) .

Going by my last entry about people not writing letters etc any more.....today at work (when I should have been busy looking at my work emails!!) For some reason I logged onto my personal email account....I actually have 27762 emails.......but most are jobs, fashion subscribes and Muslim matches!....But despite this....I scrolled to the start.....2006.....8 years ago....and scrolling through I found emails from previous encounters.....such as Mr Canada, Mr Just Kidding....but not just that......females who I classed as best friends...(at that time!)...but eventually peoples true colours come out in the end!! I think there are reasons why people are removed from your life for the better and its a funny thing how it naturally happens......all I am saying is ''Karma comes around!!''....

But it lead me to think, if I had an opportunity now to say something to my younger self of 8 years ago, what would I say?....I feel as much as people and environment has changed around me....the big main thing is still the same.....still single!!! I also thought what if my future self from 8 years ahead would say to me now.....I might be loosing you guys a bit here, but yeah I'm a big thinker! My dad has always said from a young age I am silent a lot....and that itself was dangerous!!! lol.....But all in all, its made me think I have to make changes...I have been chatting to a few guys, but I am waiting around for them....just ''there''....and looking back at the old emails...I did the same...I hung around, waited on their baited breath...I can't compromise with something that is not mine, not guaranteed....I believe that compromising starts when you start your marriage and helps build the foundations of your marriage....and I am unapologetic about the fact I will not compromise with myself right now......It is all or nothing.....Guys seem to want a bit of this and that but beat around the bush when it comes to the subject of Marriage.....

There have been cases where I have been interested in some suitors and for some reason they where not interested in me, a few years down the line once I am over that episode they think they can get back in there once they know I am no longer interested!?

I am far too busy to be worrying, waiting around for nothing to happen.....I believe in keeping yourself happy.....and TREATIN YO SELFFFF!!! ;)

Life is too short! I promise not to leave it so long for my next blog entry! Until then May the force be with you! And don't et anyone poop on your happy rainbow cloud, instead chuck that poop at them!!! ;p

I ain't no fool April..(said in her Mr T voice)....don't be putting all your chocolate Easter eggs in one basket!!

HI APRIL!!!!!!

Can't pull the wool......(well now cotton T-shirt over my eyes!).

I think as women we are built with an instinctive radar....I think most people call this 'A women's instinct'. ;)
I have laid off the on line dating for a bit and I have however been proactive in talking to the last few I have met last on line.....however when you think you that your are offline and regularly chatting to one person, don't always be fooled......women are great multitasking.....but guys are seen as not good at multitasking......I think when it comes to on-line dating they are definitely are!!!

I was thinking, how had things been before? Arranging a time and place and sticking to that  date, writing letters / postcards, picking up the phone and having a conversation, randomly surprising some one by showing up......the simple gestures that where so easy to read with no complications.....my how that has all changed.....seeing when that person was last online on whats app and why did they ignored your message and did not respond, seeing a skinny hot girl they are having a photo comment conversation that comes up in your face (well on your social media wall news feed), seeing their photos on instagram and comments made by other girls......seeing them back online the online dating sites......When did everything go all upside down? You would think with communication being so accessible and easy.....the messages can still be oh so wrong and unclear.  All it takes it clear communication where are things going or simply not going?

Has the art and days of being ''Wooed'' now well and truly over? What does it take to think outside the box instead of in the A4 flat screen boxes, or hand held gadgets ones we constantly carry in our hands? Do we have to re-create the art of communication again?  I think seeing a hand held written note is so rare these days (I'm sounding like a right old fuddy duddy here!). I just think...these days we really have all been lost in communication...and that's a shame...and I think not just love letters....but even postcards could have an amazing effect and hit the message home with more impact.....I say maybe for a few mins, drop your devices and pic up a pen and write a message, draw a picture.....anything on a paper, post it note,  banana (yes I have written messages on Banana's).....whatever you like!!

I think its time for real communication to send the message home, we should take a step backwards in order to go forwards..... :)

As for me....I shall be emptying all my eggs out of my basket for now I think....will be enjoying this spring (with a spring in my step in plenty of new shoes, as a girl can never have too many ;)

But I would say the main important thing is, never limit yourself and you are never foolish for making yourself clear and well....just putting that message out there....even if it is in a bottle ;) xxx

Check the link below too!

http://www.moreloveletters.com/blog/

MARCH.........on.....Start as you mean to go on I say! Roll on April!

And so we are in March.....

The daffodils are blooming, the sun is out and the breeze is still cold yet has that spring fresh feel, it is no longer dark when I walk out the house for work and when I leave work.....

However one thing remains the same.......Still single!!...January and February have clearly not been fruitful as such, however I am still certain to start as I mean to go on!!

Its important to carry on doing your thing, those who are on this same quest....as easy as it is to say....'Don't give up'....We all have our off days and quite rightly so...we are allowed at least one day to wallow.....but make sure its only one day and get it out of your system....then make sure you do something YOU like, YOU enjoy, makes YOU happy....be it going out and getting a Krispy Kreme doughnut....(my fav is a fresh hot original glaze and the vanilla custard.....hmmmm *she drools*).....but yeah do the things that make you happy....and list things.... I always find making a list helps.....list all the things you want to do, go and work through it in order of priority/Importance...(even if go getting a Krispy Kreme doughnut is at the top of your list...and yes right now that's number one on my list!!!).  Channel your energy into something productive......the main thing is you carry on, you live life.....don't dwell on some thing that is not there yet.....who knows with your list of activities/likes/want to do list....it might bring you to what you want.... :)

One thing I have learnt and sometimes the hard way....life is too short.....we are easy to moan and complain about what we do not have in life, when truly we are all so blessed in many and different ways and that is something to truly celebrate....You are You for a reason :)

I saw the below link this morning and it warmed my heart so much :) hope it does the same for you too :)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p01ssrp2/Original_Drama_Shorts_My_Jihad/

Inshallah (God Willing) we will all get there in the end somehow..some way :)

Have a beautiful Fruitful sunny day where ever you are :)

- Halaal Chick In he City ;) x

When do you know to stop looking.......

The search continues as always....

Its tough out there I tell you....real tough.....a whole sea full of single male and females mingling, interacting and de-interacting......and then moving on to the next.

When you think you have met someone who you think you have got some sort of common ground and understanding, at what point do things progress.

For some reason I will have banter with someone, then conversation and then meet up and then the banter can continue....and then fizzles.....I give myself a few days to re-adjust and then end up going back on the sites.....only to see them active already!!

A prime example of this......a fire man....who ended up getting burned himself!....So after my last episode of the 35 year old throwing a strop and leaving me there and then meet up, a few days after I put myself back online....This good looking 5''11 built 34 year old fire man messaged me and was quite charming, informing me that he had only joined the site 3 days ago and that he saw my profile and had to message me....we got bantering on there and eventually he asked if I used whats app and we then exchanged numbers.

I had another busy weekend and had been catching up with friends and family and then as the usual banter between close friends go ''how's the search going etc''....and then I mentioned ''Ohh well this guy has been messaging, 34, a fire man and tall....and before I could finish my dear friend jumped! And told me his name.....and I though....oh sh.....She then pulled her phone out and showed me his photo!!! And explained that her other friend had been chatting to him.....and was due to meet him in two days time.....I thought ooh....I shall back off....and left it at that......then I asked how long had they been chatting, she then said over a week....and off the same site....to which I just stared and looked at her and said...Oh?....As he had mentioned that he had just joined three days ago....*we both look at each other big eyed with a confused 'Oh' face.....*

I left it at as I knew the mutual friend was to be meeting this guy which was a Monday......come Sunday morning I receive a message with a smiley face 'Morning how are you? How has your weekend been? I have been busy'' (Clearly you have been Mr).....I chose to ignore his message either way.....another close friend of mine had been informed of all of the on goings on and found it amusing....

Come Tuesday morning, my friend said she met Mr Fireman and they got on like a house on fire (literally)....even before they had met he had called her and was showing all the signs of being committed and interested .....and her friend seemed happy and I was glad as I had not heard anything from the guy.....come lunch time the latter close friend (we are a group of three close friends...yes all single) messaged in our whats app group message a screen shot of a message she had received on the same dating site saying ''Is THIS HIM??'' To which me and my other friend said YES!!! And low and be hold he had messaged her and my friend being articulate and cunning as she is, wrote something along the lines 'how are you finding this site, some guys tend to treat it as a sweetie shop with all the girls on here''.....to which he asked her if she had any bad experiences, in which she said no and asked him on purpose if he had met anyone from this site...his reply was this....''yes I met someone at the weekend but she was not my cup of tea''...He even messaged me that evening also......we where all fuming.....there was THREE of us and this guy was giving it the large one.......

Yes there was no commitment and everything, but it does make me think when you meet someone and you think you are special....with one eye on you.....how far is the other eye wondering?

I have to say all of my single friends are amazing catches and any guy to have them would be lucky....heck if I where a rich Arab I would marry all three of them!!!

We did actually think of arrange him to meet the first friend of ours and just have all of us turn up and say hi and see his face.....but it all came to an end before that as he was sent all of our messages from our friend who he had met....he had the cheek to DENY it all and said all this happened BEFORE he spoke and met her!!?!

I think that is the risk of online dating.....maybe it is like being in a sweet shop / Mathai shop where I think guys have their pick of anything!!

I would not write it off...as its good to experience however I just hope my hear will recognise who he is, and he recognises mine too......I might just go check out the cash and curry...I mean Carry.....see what I can pick up there!